The land of the Renegades: A new generation

Chapter 29

  Karina wanted to contradict me, but I quickly ran to my room, because my tears were starting to flow and I didn't want the others to see me.

  I wanted to discharge quietly, only to fall into depression again.

  I stayed locked in my room for days and cried. Too many people had died because of my stupid plan!

  I was having suicidal thoughts again, but this time it wasn't because of Caleb. I just thought that without me, this world would be a much better place.

  I have accomplished my purpose, I have destroyed our community of Shadow Council renegades, maybe that is what the prophecy actually meant. So what was my point in this world?

  With all these things in mind, I once again tried the old tactics of leaving this world, hoping that I would finally break free.

  -Why can't I leave this world? I have served my purpose, let me die! The longer I stay here, the more damage I do!

  This was after several days of torment and crying. I had started to fight the demons inside of me day by day, every day was a torture and it was becoming more and more difficult for me to live on this earth.

  Every moment of the days after that tragic event, I remembered the hopeful and joyful faces of my former colleagues, believing that they would finally be free.

  And then, the terrible image from Karina's vision of the same people, slaughtered and robbed of any hope of freedom, came to my mind.

  I felt directly responsible for their deaths, as if I had killed them with my own hands.

  I didn't know what I was going to do, I didn't know what was going to happen, I didn't know anything at all.

  What was certain was that I was not allowed to die, and this had finished me mentally.

   I was beginning to think that maybe this was a punishment, that maybe I had to suffer for what I did to my people.

  A new day had begun, and I had woken up very early, the sun hadn't even risen.

  It was a cool August morning. My eyes felt very puffy and my head hurt terribly from the crying the night before. I couldn't even open my eyes completely, they were so swollen.

  However, with half-opened eyes I saw Karina standing in front of me, then I smelled coffee.

  The moment I saw her, I realized that she would try again to make me recover, but I was too tired mentally and spiritually, I knew that she would not succeed in anything she had planned.

   At the same time, I couldn't even imagine how she was going to do that. When she saw me opening my eyes, she began to speak:

  - My dear, wake up! We have a lot to talk about and I have a surprise that will put your mind at ease, for sure.

  From under the blanket with which I was wrapped up to my head, I answered:

  -What, you found a way to bring them all back to life?

  - No, unfortunately this is not possible. Come on, get out of bed and have a sip of coffee. I promise you will like my surprise.

  I was far too tired to resist, so I just gave up and got up.

  On the bedside table was the coffee with milk foam, which looked incredibly tempting.

   I took a sip, thinking it would take away the tiredness I felt, but I wasn't aware that not my body was tired, but my soul.

  -Look, I have great news! I know what happened was a great tragedy, but you will have to stop blaming yourself.

  -How can I not do that, Karina? I asked, choked by the fresh, hot tears that were making their appearance again. It was my plan, I dragged them all to their deaths, how can you say it's not my fault? Now I have on my conscience the death of nearly a hundred of our comrades.

  -If you remember correctly, you said that you don't force anyone to join you. It was their choice, just like they chose to betray you. You have to stand up and let's see what we do from now on.

  - I can't, I'm sorry but I can't. First I lost Caleb, now I've led nearly a hundred people to their deaths... Maybe the prophecy isn't about good things, maybe I'll bring you all to an end.

  -Stop talking like that. Maybe if I tell you what surprise I have for you, you'll feel better. You know, all this time I studied the history and mythology of soul mates and found a very interesting story. I assume you know what an androgynous being is, right?

  - No, I don't think I know.

  -Okay, well then I will tell you the history in short: it is said that at the beginning of time, people had four hands, four legs, two heads, etc. These were the androgynous beings. They were very powerful, more powerful than the gods, who were afraid of these beings. So one day the gods cut these beings in half and sent them to Earth, cursing them to search for their soul mates all their lives. Once the two soul mates are found, they merge and form a single soul, which becomes invincible again. You were very lucky to find your soulmate so quickly and you two together are invincible.

  -Need I remind you of Caleb's sacrifice? Need I remind you that he's gone?

  Saying these things filled me with a much deeper sadness, such as I did not think it is possible.

  After all, I had not reached the maximum point of sadness and pain that a human could feel, until I thought of Caleb again.

  - Now comes the part you will like the most. Studying continuously, I discovered a magical potion that can connect two souls that have already met and somehow been separated again. Last night there was a full moon and my powers reached their maximum strenght for a few hours. I prepared the potion for you and I thought you would be very happy to use it.

  This news should have made me happy, but instead, I started crying again.

  -And what should I do now? I'm sure that he also found out the terrible news, I'm ashamed to see or hear him again in this situation.

  - My dear, always remember one thing: nothing is random, everything happens for a reason. Once you take this potion you will be able to send thoughts to him, all you have to do is think of him and your thoughts will reach him. You will also be able to receive answers from him. That's all I can do for now, but I think it's enough just to talk, to advise, to console each other... I'm going to go now, I have a little more work to do, but I'll leave the potion here. We are waiting for you among us, again.

  As she left, I stared at the purple vial on the bedside table.

  I didn't know what to do. I was very ashamed of him, I couldn't tell him that I ruined everything he had built so far.

  But in the end I realized that only he can calm me down now and maybe what Karina said was true, maybe we are both stronger and can fix something.

  I reached for the magic vial, took it in my hand, examined it a bit, then opened it.

  As soon as I uncorked it, I took the purple substance as it was a shot of tequila, because I was afraid that if I hesitated, I would change my mind.