The land of the Renegades: A new generation

Chapter 30

  It had an immediate effect. I felt shivers down my spine, and then I started having feelings that weren't mine.

  I felt fear, disgust, longing, pain, and then I thought it might be Caleb's feelings.

  I lay back in bed and tried to relax. I visualized Caleb's face in my mind and wanted to test this potion with a simple "Hello!".

  Then I felt very agitated, but it wasn't my feelings. The next moment I heard his voice in my mind:

  -What the ... ? What happens? Is this some new form of torture? Do you want to drive me crazy?

  -Caleb, hey, calm down! I'm Eva! It's me!

  -How? But how is that possible? I don't believe! Get out of my mind, demon! I will not fall into your trap!

  - There is no demon, believe me. Well actually it is, but it is your favourite one, I promise you. Karina gave me the soul mate potion. Now we can communicate and feel each other.

  -Is that true? he asked me, starting to calm down.

  -Can't you feel me? Can't you feel my feelings and thoughts? I don't think a demon could fake feelings, they can fake only my voice.

  - Well, I feel happiness, in addition to all these negative feelings. I have no reason to be happy in this hell, which means it's you, really.

  -Indeed, I am! I knew it was hard for you there and you weren't doing well at all, but when I felt your fear and heard your desperation, it was like something inside me broke. If I could, I'd get you out of there right now. I am terribly sorry that I could not convince you not to do this.

  -Don't think about it anymore, please! I did what I thought was best for you and our little community.

  - Speaking of which...

  -I know, I know what happened. I am so sorry for what happened. Demons from Earth come back here from time to time and catch them talking to each other. It sounded like a very good plan! Who would have thought they would betray you?

  -I still blame myself for this. Too many people died and that was because they didn't believe my plan would work.

  -Exactly! They didn't trust your plan and betrayed you. It's not your fault they chose the other side, so stop blaming yourself.

  -Maybe you are right. And now what is left to do? Shall we spend the rest of our lives here in this building? For some of us the "rest of life" will be an eternity, some of us are immortal.

  -Don't worry, we will solve it somehow. We will find a solution.

  All this conversation had calmed me down a bit. I know it sounds cliché, but he was my calmer.

  Ever since I met him, all I needed to do was to see or hear him and all my worries disappeared.

  From what I felt I noticed that he was a little disappointed in me but he didn't want to say or show it.

  It broke my heart to think that I had let everyone down. I felt inside that this was not me, that this was not my destiny. I wasn't a bad person.

  At that moment there was nothing I could do but wait, maybe something would happen and miraculously change this situation.

  There were moments where I thought, "What if I hadn't learned about my powers in a tragic way and stayed among humans?".

  Then I remembered what Caty had told me when I arrived at Brotherhood headquarters, that several of our kind had been assassinated by the Council, making it look like accidents.

  Maybe that's how I would end up, and maybe it was better, because since I came, almost a hundred people have died.

  On the other hand, I met my soulmate and learned that we are much stronger together. However, he sacrificed himself and was no longer by my side at that time, so I wasn't as strong without him.

  There was a constant contradiction in my mind, I was thinking about all kinds of things, making up all kinds of stories in my head related to my history since I found out that I was special.

  Totally lost in my thoughts, I didn't even hear Caty enter the room. She had a plate with breakfast in her arms.

  On it were two slices of bread spread with butter and jam, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, cheese, sausages, and in a mug was the coffee that attracted me every time with its smell.

  There was a lot of food in there and I couldn't eat it all by myself, but I already knew what Caty had in mind when she prepared it.

   She thought of putting everything there, maybe something attracted me and I would eat too, even if only a little.

  It wasn't until she asked me, "Hey, how are you?" I startled, taken by surprise by her presence. At that moment I really needed to talk to her.

   I motioned to the bedside table to put the tray there, then she sat down on the bed next to me.

  - Today I don't want to hear excuses, she said. I'll sit here on your head until you eat something.

  I gave her a short smile and felt the need to thank her:

  -I don't know what I did to deserve such a good friend, but I have no words to express how grateful I am. The first time I fell into depression you were by my side. You helped me recover and never left me. Now, when I'm in the same situation, you're still here and you help me, you support me, you're by my side. All the words in this world cannot express my gratitude.

  She was moved by my words, you could see that clearly and she didn't know what to say, so I took her in my arms and hugged her really hard.

  At that moment she noticed the vial on the bedside table, and when I released her from my arms, her face showed the shock she couldn't hide.

  -Did you manage to talk to Caleb? she asked me.

  -Yes I spoke. But I am very ashamed of him. What Karina didn't tell me about this potion is that I can feel what he feels and vice versa. And I felt him disappointed. He didn't want to show me that, but he can't control his feelings.

  -Did you think that maybe you felt your own disappointment? I mean, you blame yourself for what happened.

  -Yes, I thought about that too, but it was more intense.

  -Maybe because you were ashamed to talk to him? The shame is much greater when you think that you may have disappointed your great love.

  -Maybe you are right.

  I took the tray from the bedside table and asked her to eat with me, to feel, once again, like in the good old days. I was starting to feel a little better.

  However, I still had nightmares about the tragic event.

  I think that any man, no matter how strong and powerful he is, would still be broken by an event like this, where around a hundred people dear to him die.

  Knowing that there was nothing more I could do to fix the situation, I let myself go with the flow, to have fun, to feel good, to let everything come by itself.

  After all, if I was going to spend the rest of my life there, in that building, at least I wouldn't regret anything.

  The others who were still alive were also demoralized, but in the end they came to the same conclusion as me.

  The two newcomers seemed to be a couple, I only saw them together. Indeed, they looked good together and seemed to get along just fine.