If I Let You Go

Chapter 15 - He once passed by

"Rain anak, (son) it seems you're not yet recovered. Maybe you should take a break. How about you visit your cousins in Pagudpud? I'm sure Forest and Hunter will gladly welcome you." Their mother suggested at dinner after Rain was discharged from the hospital after almost a week of being admitted.

The parents were expecting rejection but were surprised when Rain nodded without lifting his head and replied a short, "Ok po."

His mother looked at her husband worriedly, but the twin's father nodded at his wife with an expression of, 'Just let him.'

"Rain anak, try to relax there and do not worry about limiting your stay. I think it will do you good to go away for a while to clear your head of worries and stressful thoughts." Rain's father opined.

Again, Rain just nodded in agreement. After that, Rain's parents did not say anything.

Dinner's especially quiet and even River who's usually loud is careful when moving her utensils. As if one unexpected noise will cause an outburst from her twin. However, Rain's quiet and lacking energy. She'd like to think it's still the aftereffects of the illness, but her twin's eyes were soulless. She wanted to comfort him and hug him until all the pain from that heartbreak's gone but she knows that Rain would not want her to know how much he's hurting.

After Rain got discharged from the hospital, a big change seemed to happen in him. He's always quiet and unmotivated about everything. He will always nod and accept any suggestion without voicing his opinion. As if Rain's just letting life pass him by. It's like the bubbly and bright Rain never existed.

When River saw Rain crying over a tub of peeled and sliced kiwis, she asked him if Taylor said something to upset Rain. Her twin just answered, "It's over." and never added anything no matter how many questions River asked.

River had to relay the same unclear message to their parents when they asked about Rain's lonely quietness.

***

River knocked softly on Rain's open door that night. She saw an open luggage on top of the bed and one half of it's already filled with several items of clothing. A bag of toiletries and a couple of shoe bags with footwear in it is ready beside the luggage. Rain's currently folding underwear and a couple pair of socks to add to his packed luggage.

River wanted to pick up all the contents of the luggage and throw it back into Rain's closet. However, she knows that Rain needed this break. Maybe going away will make him forget that jerk Taylor. She will miss him dearly though.

"Have you got everything you need? Sun block? Other skin care products?...your twin, River?" she lightly joked but meaning it inside.

Rain lifted the side of his lips slightly, but the small smile never reached his eyes. "I'm good. I will call you every day. I know this seem over the top, but I think I need this, River. Besides, I will just be ruining everyone's mood with the way I am now."

"No, it's no over the top! You have every right to feel any emotion. Don't let others tell you otherwise." River briskly walks in front of Rain and hugged him.

"Take all the time you need. Tatay, Nanay and me will be waiting for you here when you're ready." River rubbed at Rain back as if pacifying him, but it was truly for her. She needed to hug her twin so she can feel better about sending Rain away. This will be the first time that she will be separated from her twin for an extended time. She really blames Taylor for hurting her twin.

"Thank you, River." Rain smiled sadly while hugging River and trying his best not to let his tears fall.

Outside, the rain started falling in big heavy drops.

***

Rain went to bed at 7pm but barely slept that night. It's good anyway since his flight departs at 4:00AM so he needed to be at the airport very early.

Rain's cousins, Forest and Hunter lives in Ilocos Norte at a resort they own fronting Saud beach. Their parents, Rain's aunt and uncle lives in Bohol after retiring from being government employees. They are now maintaining a small farm and overseeing a mahogany field that Rain's grandparents left them.

That night, a storm raging outside could not defeat the anxious thoughts inside Rain's head. The whole time Rain's in bed, he was thinking that maybe he assumed too much about Taylor and him. Taylor never said anything. Taylor did not deny the boyfriend title but never confirmed it either. Taylor may have been just obligated to act as his boyfriend because Rain assumed in the first place that they are in a relationship when in fact it was really not confirmed by Taylor.

River drove him to the airport accompanied by their father. Sitting at the back seat, Rain watched the raindrops crisscrossing their way on the car window. The heavy rain last night slowed down into a drizzle after midnight.

While looking out the window, Rain continuedwhat he was thinking about in bed earlier. If Taylor was really just indulginghis assumption of being boyfriends, isn't it too humiliating? It is good thathe's leaving. Maybe Pagudpud can calm him down and make him forget aboutall of this. Rain seriously doubts that idea seeing as he misses Taylor everyday. But he still needs to leave. To run away from all of it. And maybe, justmaybe, start to forget that Taylor once passed by and changed everything abouthim.