If I Let You Go

Chapter 30 - Consent can be so sexy

"I told you, you do not have to do anything, you do not even have to move."

Taylor then stepped closer and caressed Rain's cheek as he observes every detail of Rain's face.

"Just stay where you are, and I will come to you."

Taylor reached for both of Rain's hands. He brought one of them to his face, palm facing his cheeks.

"I will do the all chasing, the courting, the pursuing..." He paused.

"...and all the loving." Taylor kissed Rain's right palm while looking into Rain's eyes.

***

Rain smiled and hugged him. Taylor lifted Rain by his waist, twisted their position and sat on the sofa with Rain straddling Taylor's lap. They remained in that position for a while just hugging each other. From time to time, Taylor will kiss Rain's hand or caress Rain's face as if not really believing all of this is real.

After a while, Rain shifted and trapped Taylor's face in between his hands. He kissed Taylor with all the longing he had when they were apart. Taylor happily returned the kiss.

The kiss started to get deeper and hotter after a while. Taylor had to use all the control he had in him to stop both of them. Holding Rain's face with both his hands, he gently placed a bit of distance between their faces.

"Rain, do you know what we are about to do?" Taylor breathes heavily.

"Yes" Rain exhales into Taylor's face, slightly panting.

"You do realize that if we do this, there is no turning back? That you will be with me no matter what? Because this time, I am never letting you go." Taylor uttered the words right at Rain's lips.

"I do know that." Rain answered.

"And are you still sure you want this?"

"YES!"

Taylor's lips touched Rain's in an ardent kiss. Rain tightened his arms around Taylor's neck when he felt Taylor tightened his right arm on his waist and Taylor's left arm on his right leg as Taylor stands up from the sofa.

As Taylor carried Rain towards the bedroom without breaking their kiss, Rain thought: 'I never knew that consent could be so hot and sexy.'

***

Basking in the afterglow, Rain laid down on his stomach, his head sideways resting on Taylor's shoulder joints, his arm thrown across Taylor's chest. While Taylor kept on rubbing Rain's arm that's atop his chest, kissing his hair and generally just touching him all over. As if assuring himself that Rain really is here, never to be far away from him ever again.

Taylor urged Rain to shift position so he can look at Rain's eyes, those beautiful bright eyes and asked, "Did you miss me?"

"Yes, every waking moment. Oftentimes, I also dream of you. Did you?" Rain asked in return.

"I did, still do even though you're here now. I miss these eyes and seeing the mischief in them ..." Taylor kissed Rain's eyes.

"When I close my eyes and see your face, I miss opening them knowing that I will see the real you, standing in front of me..." Taylor kissed Rain's nose.

"I miss reaching out my hand without looking at you and knowing you will reach out too and hold it." He then kissed Rain's palm.

"I miss loving you and being loved back." Taylor kissed Rain's lips softly, lied down and hugged Rain tightly in his arms.

Taylor's finger traced the tattoo on Rain's shoulder blade. "When I saw you at the coffee shop with your new hair, earrings and bad boy get up, I told myself, Oh no this is bad...my boy looks hotter. What if somebody else takes him away from me?..I was so jealous of the imaginary competition." Taylor laughed at his own silliness.

"Then earlier, I saw this tattoo and despite my otherwise engaged state, I thought, maybe I should just lock this boy up so no one will ever see his hotness." Rain laughed loudly at what Taylor said.

Rain shifted position to let Taylor see the tattoo better, "Try to look at it closer. If you turn it counterclockwise..."

Taylor frowned a little bit and imagined what Rain said. He then smiled goofily when he saw the heart shaped tattoo turned into letter T when turned sideways. "It's my initial!". Taylor hugged Rain tightly.

"You promised, no more letting go. You must keep it." Rain reminded him and Taylor nodded and kissed Rain's hair.

"Yes. No more letting go." Taylor promised. He then let go of Rain slightly to look into his eyes as he said, "But can you promise me something in return?"

Rain eyed Taylor with a crinkled forehead saying "Ooh-kay?"

Taylor held Rain's hand firmly, "Promise me that no matter what, you will never ever leave me again."

Rain felt sad for Taylor. It must have been hard for him when he left. He thought it was a lie when Taylor said he is his source of happiness. It must have been so lonely without him pestering Taylor with his craziness and naughtiness.

"I promise, no more leaving. But what about your family? Do I have to be vigilant? Will your mother be throwing money bills at me and saying: Take the money and leave Taylor alone!" Rain comically asked.

Taylor burst out laughing. "Oh God, I missed this craziness." Taylor nuzzled Rain's neck.

"I'm sorry but no. My mother will not throw money at you and make you ultra-rich just to leave me." Taylor still laughing a bit as he said this.

"Yeah?" Rain confirmed and Taylor laughingly nodded at this, "Bummer!" Rain pouted.

Taylor laughed so hard.

After a while, Taylor quieted down and addressed the family question seriously.

"There is only one person in that family who might approach you in a negative way. And I say might because he never really ever cared about me or my mother. However, do not put too much attention on what he has to say in case he did approach you. His words and opinions have already failed to affect me since I realized that no matter what I do, I will never ever be important to him." Taylor said.

Rain squeezed Taylor's hand. "That's okay. You're important to me and I will shower you with so much attention you will eventually ask Kuya Fred to tie me up and throw me into Laguna de Bay*."

"Yes, I'm sure Kuya Fred will help me dispose of you." Taylor laughed and Rain slapped his biceps as reprimand.

"But what about your brother?...And mommy?" Taylor raised his eyebrows when Rain addressed his mother 'mommy'.

"What? Can't I practice calling her that?" was Rain's weak excuse.

"Mama..." Taylor corrected the address to his mom, "has accepted my preference. But she's not in a hurry to welcome a daughter, I mean son-in-law. So don't hold your breath waiting for her to call you and take you shopping, or any other activity mothers-in-law do for bonding with their child's partner." Taylor teased.

"Again, bummer!" Rain complained jokingly.

"As for Kuya, he has declared his support for me even before we separated." Taylor said.

"Really? That was sweet of him. I must say his good looks matches his values." Rain praised.

Taylor felt a little jealous and offended, so he flipped Rain over and started attacking Rain's nape with kisses.

*Laguna de Bay, also known as Laguna Lake, is the largest lake in the Philippines. It is located southeast of Metro Manila, between the provinces of Laguna to the south and Rizal to the north - Wikipedia