crash & burn - e. buckley

009

"Hey! You made it," Jamie greeted Buck with a hug once she spotted him in the crowded club.

"Yeah, well, there was no way I was gonna miss my best friend's boyfriend's gig." He smiled at her. 

Jamie was watching her boyfriend perform live for the first time, and he had been nice enough to get tickets for Angel, Jordan, and Buck as well. Not just that, he had gotten them a table in the VIP section of the club. 

Her friends all greeted each other once she returned with Buck, and then they ordered drinks and sat down at their table. Buck took a seat next to Jamie and placed his arm over her shoulder absentmindedly while talking to Jordan and sipping his beer. 

"I can't believe all these people are here to see Collin," Angel said and gazed out over the packed club. 

"I know, and this is a small gig for them," Jamie replied. She couldn't help but feel proud of her boyfriend and the fact that all these people were here to watch him perform and hear him sing. She hadn't realized when they first started dating just how famous he was. 

They heard the opening notes of the first song and their attention was redirected to the stage. The first few songs were slower but the pace eventually picked up and the four friends ended up dancing. Jamie had to drag Buck out of his seat to get him to dance with her but he gave in eventually. He was spinning her around and that combined with the three strong drinks she had consumed led to her getting dizzy and almost falling into him, but he was quick to steady her. 

"Whoa, maybe we should sit down for a while," Buck laughed at her. 

"Good idea, but first, more drinks!" 

Jamie got herself another vodka redbull and Buck got another beer and they took their previous seats at the table. She removed the denim jacket she had been wearing and revealed the strapless dress she was wearing underneath. Buck couldn't help but admire the way her cheeks were flushed from the dancing and the alcohol and the sparkle she had in her eyes. She looked happy and stress-free, a look that was rare on her. Her shoulders were still moving, even when sitting down she was dancing. 

"Look," Jamie nudged him and pointed to something. Jordan and Angel were kissing in the middle of the dance floor and Jamie internally cheered, she had been hoping that they would get back together soon. Buck laughed. His best friend turned her body towards him and started laughing with him, leaning her head against his chest. It felt like his heart dropped to his stomach and was currently doing back-flips, but he dismissed it as being the alcohol. 

"This next song is for Jamie, it's called Beautiful Girl."  They heard Collin announce from the stage. 

"Whoo!" Jamie cheered and stood up from her seat. She walked away from Buck and leaned against the railing to see her boyfriend better on the stage. 

"Beautiful girl/ You keep on rocking my world/ and this ain't never gon' change." 

Buck listened to the words Jamie's boyfriend was singing to her as he watched her from his seat. She was swaying to the beat and looked happy and in love, and he had the devastating realization that she was never going to look at him that way. Then he wondered why he even cared about that, he was happy with Abby and Jamie was his best friend. He should be happy that his friend has found someone that loves her the way she deserves, not be sad that it's not him. 

"How you doing, Bucky?" Angel tapped his shoulder and took the seat next to him. They were joined by Jordan who also asked him how he was. 

"I'm good, how are you two doing?" He asked them with a teasing smile. 

In true Angel-and-Jordan fashion, they deflected the attention away from them and any questions about their relationship. "They won't last forever, you know," Jordan said with a sympathetic smile. Buck raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Jamie and Collin," she clarified. "He's way more in love with her than she is with him. I give them three more months, tops."

"I'm with Abby," he said, "I just want Jamie to be happy."

"What were you saying about Jamie?" Jamie asked as she returned to the table, a bit out of breath from dancing. 

"I said you look happy," Buck smiled at her reassuringly. She gave him a beaming smile in return. 

-------

Jamie woke up with a horrible headache the next day. They had ended up going to an afterparty with Collin and his band where the drinks had been flowing. She was pretty sure she threw up on someone's shoes at one point, but she couldn't remember who they belonged to. She groaned and sat up in her bed. Collin was asleep next to her and snoring lightly and she looked at him with a fond smile before standing up and throwing on a t-shirt. 

She began her trek to the kitchen to get a glass of water but she was interrupted by the sight of Buck asleep on her couch. She didn't remember him following them home, but it wasn't unusual that he stayed over after a night out. 

She grabbed a water bottle and a couple of aspirin from the kitchen and then sat down on the couch on top of Buck's legs. He woke up with a groan and slowly opened his eyes. Jamie handed him the water bottle and aspirin without saying anything to him and he gratefully accepted it. He removed his legs from underneath Jamie and sat up so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. They sat in silence, sharing the water bottle until they had drunk it all. 

"What time is it?" Buck asked after a while. 

"Nine A.M" Jamie answered.

"We got home like four hours ago, why are you awake? More importantly, why am I awake?"

"I woke up because my head was killing me, and you're my ride or die so if I suffer, you have to suffer."

"Fair enough," he chuckled.

"Hey, Buckley, quit hogging my girlfriend," Collin said and wrapped Jamie up in a hug as he emerged from the bedroom. She and Buck had been watching TV for the past two hours while waiting for everyone else to wake up. 

"Wouldn't dream of it," Buck replied with an awkward smile as the couple gave each other a kiss. He looked at his phone and when he saw the time he sprung off the couch. "I gotta go, I'm supposed to meet Abby for lunch in an hour." He gave Jamie a kiss on the cheek and Collin a fist bump before rushing out of the door. 

"Have fun!" Jamie called after him right before he closed the door. 

Collin pulled her onto his lap and brushed the hair out of her face before giving her a gentle kiss. "Thanks for coming last night," he said with a grateful smile. 

"Of course, you were amazing," she smiled back at him. 

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. 

I love you. She should've felt happy hearing those words, but all she felt was panic. She's said those words to partners before, and she thought she felt it for Collin. They've been going out for months now, so she should feel it. Yet somehow it felt incredibly wrong hearing him say it. She didn't know why, she just felt like he wasn't the one she wanted to hear those words from. 

"Jamie?"

"Yeah," she tried to smile. Her boyfriend noticed the panicked look on her face and he stroke her hair gently. 

"You don't have to say it back yet, I just wanted you to know where I'm at." 

"Thank you. I just think it's too soon for me, but I really like you, like a lot."

"That's good enough for me." He smiled and kissed her again.