crash & burn - e. buckley

020

02x10

Jamie had a dream that she was happy. It was Christmas and she was surrounded by all the people she loved, smiling and laughing. Her daughter was running around and playing with her new presents and a man with blonde hair and blue eyes put his arms around Jamie, gave her a kiss, and told her that he loves her.

In her dream, it was Christmas and she was happy.

She woke up, it was Christmas but she was not happy.

The dream lingered in her mind all day, the way rain lingers in the air after a downpour. You can taste it and you can smell it, and though you can't see it you can still feel the dampness in the air and tell that it was there.

It was making it quite hard for her to focus on her job. The dream had felt so realistic that when she remembered it wasn't actually real she became sullen. Buck noticed. He had tried asking her about it but she had just dismissed him and assured him that she was fine.

She had also been retreating from him. They used to be inseparable, both at work and outside of it, but now on calls she opted to go with Eddie instead, and they barely saw each other in their spare time anymore.

Buck had no idea why his best friend wanted to distance herself from him, but he came to the conclusion that he either must've unintentionally done something to piss her off, or she was just simply getting tired of him. Maybe she had finally, after three or so years, realised that he's too much. That he's someone you put up with for a short while until you eventually get weighed down by him and you have no choice but to get away, or you'll get crushed.

He was desperately hoping that it was just in his head though, that maybe her behaviour actually had nothing to do with him at all, and that she still wanted to be his friend.

He honestly didn't know how he would cope if she left him. He didn't think he could handle it. She was his everything.

She had been quiet on the drive to their next call for the night, and she didn't say anything as they exited the truck either. He tried to take her hand but she swerved away from him by pretending that she had to talk to Hen.

A man had been pushed off his roof by an inflatable snowman. "Blood pressure's 120/70. Respiration's good," Chimney assessed.

When they moved him over to the backboard, they saw that he had landed on an inflatable baby Jesus, which probably saved his spine. "Oh, looks like the baby Jesus broke your fall."

"That's a Christmas miracle," Buck joked with a chuckle. He looked over at Jamie and was pleased to see that there was a small smile playing on her face. It made his heartbeat quicken.

As they carried the man out, his neighbours were standing around taking pictures. "This is the best Christmas ever!" he exclaimed.

"Hey." Buck bumped his shoulder against Jamie's as they walked back to the truck. She stiffened slightly. Anyone else would've missed it, but Buck knew her body language better than his own. Still, she gave him a polite smile. "We're okay, right?"

She furrowed her brows. "Of course, Buck. You're my best friend." She leaned in a bit closer to him as they stopped beneath the red truck.

He released a relieved breath. "Good. That's good." He reached for her hand again, and this time she let him take it. Their eyes met, and for the few seconds they just stood there, looking at each other, the world around them seemed to disappear.