Your Heart Is As Black As Night: A Collection Of Kuroshitsuji Fanfics

Thinking Of You: Chapter 1

Thinking of you

~Adult!Ciel x Reader x Sebastian Michaelis

(A Kuroshitsuji SongFic)

~
"Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed..."
~

It was almost a year after she got engaged to the Earl of Phantomhive- Ciel. She wasn't against the decision neitherr did she agree with it, Ciel was her childhood friend- her best friend, saviour- her childhood sweetheart, if you would allow- but that was nothing more than what was known to most of us as a case of 'puppy love': he was her first friend, the first actual human being introduced to her that was a tad bit close to her age, the first person that introduced her to so many things.

He was her friend- best friend, nothing less; but definitely nothing more. She fancied him but not that much to just accept and swallow the engagement wholly and totally eradicate the desires and emotions so strong that she held on and felt for another man, Sebastian Michaelis.

The man she so loved. The man that continues to love her back even with the engagement going on. The man who made her taste freedom, sweetness, pain, bitterness and reality- the only one who was able to fulfill her fantasies and grant her heart's most desperate wishes.

The man who was unfortunately her fiancé's butler...

~
"You said move on

Where do I go?

I guess second best

Is all I will know..."
~

Bright lavender orbs widened and she barely kept herself from shrieking so loud, her snow white hair whipping as she abruptly turned her back on the burgundy-eyed man, in a vain attempt to hide the stubborn tears making their way up her eyes in a parade very much loathed and unwelcomed- uninvited and currently despised by the girl who was their victim.

Such cold words said by the same soft and low voice she very much yearned for, the same gentle lips seeming to be tortured from having to release the poison that would slip pass them and straight into her heart instead of touching and caressing hers in a chaste and hurried kiss- always afraid and restrained,

those wretched words was said and her heart was drenched in cold water- with no second thoughts or remorse:

"We could not be, my dear princess. You are bound to be my master's bride and not mine."

Just that. His voice a carefully practiced routine

revolving around cold, monotonous and emotionless- painfully prepared and sober. Hidden behind a curtain of indifference and rationality was sorrow so great that she would've already drowned in- resulting to her not letting go and committing additional foolishness to their already long list of follies- should she know.

Sebastian had to do at least this much.

Let her go and hide his pain.

She never knew any of this.

He knew she was crying even with her back turned to him. Knew she was breaking into pieces even with her growling profanities at him- saw the grief her ever so bright lavender eyes released against her will. Saw the indecision in every move she made: the quiver of her upper lip, the trembling of her clenched fists, the unsteady tone of her voice that was slowly cracking in rough edges as she said in a hushed and hurt tone- as if lost,