Your Heart Is As Black As Night: A Collection Of Kuroshitsuji Fanfics

Thinking of You: If I were to do things differently - Sebastian x Reader

Thinking of You: If I were to do things differently
by LadyAlicerius21, Moments ago
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / Teen / Introductions & Chapters

Thinking of You: If I were to do things differently

(A Kuroshitsuji Fic / Alternate ending of the first story: 'Thinking of You')
-Adult!Ciel x Reader x Sebastian

~

He knew it. She was a tad bit too obvious and she made it clear that he wasn't - would never be the man she would love- without words, and solely through her subconscious actions.

She looks around during their dates. Her lavender eyes distracted whenever he would look straight into them. She was looking back at him but he knew it wasn't him she sees- it wasn't his own pair of deep blue eyes she perceives but a completely different pair...

He thought he might as well give up. He was holding her hand in his as they stroll around the cold London streets but her hand made no move to touch his- not even pretending to actually touch him, not even wasting an effort in feigning interest.

It was cold both on the outside and deep within the recesses of his own persona.

"Aren't you cold?" he tried to start an actual conversation- why couldn't it just be like before? Like when they were still younger, they'll have none of this awkward silence- they would still be laughing about the randomness of things, she would still pinch his cheeks to make him smile, would stretch it to distort his frown and would say that everything's alright.

What if.

What if they really weren't meant to be more than friends? He pondered about the notion for so many times before but whenever he was about to give up and let go- his selfish self would wake up and pull him back down to square one:

'Never let her go.', it would say and he would be naive and immature enough to listen.

Just like a child who was told to behave and he would be given all the riches of the world by tomorrow should he do so.

A promise full of lies- don't let her go, make her love you and you would both end up happy- she would forget about Sebastian and you would start a family of your own.

She would love him.

He went home after escorting her back to the Bluebellhein Manor in London.

What foolish hopes...

He locked the door to his room, avoiding his butler all the while.

She would forget him...

Nonsense....

He thought the engagement would break it off- he thought it would separate Alice from Sebastian.

But it didn't. They would meet in secret and their love for each other would grow deeper and stronger because of the time they're desperately teaming up against.

Nothing would ever break the two of them- his butler and his princess.

They were simply meant to be- and even if they weren't, he knew they would fight; even if they wouldn't fight, he knew they would never forget each other no matter who they would end up with.

That Alice would still keep on seeing Sebastian even if it was Ciel beside her and not him.

He shot out of bed and went to his drawer, pulled out a parchment and his quill, wrote down a simple and quickly written letter- sealed it in an envelope with the Phantomhive seal and set it on top of his bedside table, flopping down his bed in unceremoniously with his clothes on as he shrugged his shoes off and went to sleep as quickly as he wrote the letter that would end every hope he would've been selfish enough to take in an attempt of a futile happy ending.