Precious Star

No Control

I should be in my bed right now, studying and reviewing my notes, watching replays of the race. But here I am heading to the lobby to meet the boys. I have gone clubbing with them a few times before, and it's always the same thing. Pierre finds some girl for the night the minute we walk into the club. Lando and Danny laugh and joke harder than they do on a regular, sober basis. Lewis ends off finding some friends and the club and forgetting all about us. Max starts off the night calm but by the 3rd round, he is off with Lando and Danny dancing as if they had two left legs. Carlos is the only one who manages to remain slightly sober, just enough to help me round up the flock. Meaning I am stuck on babysitting duties, making sure everyone makes it to their bed alive.

"Ma fille préférée," [My favorite girl] Pierre greeted me as the group of men crowded the lobby.

"You clearly pre-gamed before this," I said as he engulfed me in a tight hug.

"For you win, of course, tonight's it's all about you!"

"So you won't wander off with a local tonight?" I questioned, his lack of response answering my own question.

~

Heading into the club Lewis had mentioned the place was dark and packed, the only source of light being the small neon lights that hung from the roof. Lewis lead us all to a private area located on the second floor some of the other drivers were sitting on the couches. This included Checo, Yuki, Esteban, Alex, George, Oscar, and Lance. Once we all settled in the first round quickly followed, the table was filled with just about every alcoholic drink. Everyone seemed to be downing everything quickly, the bottles finishing up faster than I recall from previous times. I had promised myself that I would drink a bit, but not to the point where I couldn't take care of the boys. Nonetheless, a certain presence quickly changed my game plan.

"Charles, we thought you would never show up!" Max called out from beside me, his sentence slurring.

"I would never miss this for the world. After all, we are celebrating Alaina, right?" he smirked looking down at me as he stood beside Max.

He stared into my eyes, challenging me to respond back, but he knew I wouldn't. Not in front of everyone, though it wouldn't matter because, from the looks of it, everyone was clearly intoxicated. "Who's ready for round 3?" Cheers erupted around us as I stood up, not breaking eye contact with Leclerc before heading over to the bar.

I reached the bar, resting my arms on the counter,"Give me three shots of tequila and send four bottles over to that table, please." After he placed the three shots I quickly downed them back to back with no chaser.

"I thought you didn't drink much, Senna?"

"And I thought you would realize that I left because I wanted to be anywhere but near you, yet here we both are," I said before signaling the bartender to give me another three.

"That was a nice stunt you pulled back there," he said, completely ignoring the clear signs that I want anything but to speak with him. Yet, I found myself tilting my head slightly in confusion as to what he meant. "That little wave on the podium?"

"Oh, that! I was just waving my teammate, no meaning behind it," I shrugged grabbing the first shot the bartender had placed down in front of me.

"Yeah, well it felt a little petty to me."

"You see, that's where you're wrong, Leclerc. I was not being petty, it was an innocent wave. You interpret it as you wish," I grabbed the other two shots downing them in hopes that the tequila would kick soon because I need to distract myself from the closeness of our bodies as the crowd left us any room to breathe and the lack of oxygen in the room.

"You should really take it easy, Alaina."

"The same way I take my turns easy?"

"You and I both know you one are lightweight, and that was six shots back to back. And two, your turns are too rough, you need to brake earlier."

"That should be none of your concern," heading back to the group I scolded myself for allowing myself to stay for more than five minutes with him. I was actually enjoying myself, not really thinking about the notes I should be studying, until he came. It's like every room he enters a shiver creeps up my back, my mind goes blank, and my hairs peek up. No one has made me feel that way, and I hate it. I hate not having control over what I feel, I hate not having control over my body, I hate it.

I hate him.

~

"Alaina, you just drank half of the bottle," I was unsure who said this but it sounded like Carlos or maybe it was Max.

"Ridammelo, non l'ho finito," [Give me that back, I wasn't finished with it] my words clearly slurring with one another and my Italian making a special appearance.

"Cara mia, you're beyond drunk. Let's get you to your room," [My darling] I hated how I couldn't figure out who it clearly was, Carlos or Max, but I trusted them. I only trust Max and Carlos like this, it's most definitely one of them. "Come on, up up," they said. Lifting myself off the couch I felt my whole body go numb, resulting me in falling over. Expecting to faceplant and possibly get a concussion from the fall, the impact never came. I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, hoisting me up.

"Carlitos, muchísimas gracias," [Carlos, thank you very much] I said as I wrapped my arm around Carlos' shoulder, leaning my whole body weight on him.

"Carlos? I'm not Carlos."

"Maxie! Take me to my room, I literally cannot walk," grabbing onto Max's face, squeezing his cheeks resulting in his lips plumping up like a pufferfish. A chuckle escaped his lips and it sound almost majestic, I felt frozen. But soon a sense of comfort and peace overcame my body, an all-so-familiar yet strange feeling, relaxing all my muscles in my body. A feeling I have only ever felt with two people, and it's been years since I last felt that way. Papa and Jules have been the only ones to make me feel at peace. They are the only ones who I have been able to express everything and anything, they are the ones who I could truly trust and find peace in. But this simple chuckle that escaped his lips brought that sense of trust. But I have heard Max chuckle and I have never felt this way, why all of a sudden? I know I am not crushing on him, I could never. But here I am finding myself once again unable to control my emotions. This was the last thing I remember before blacking out for God knows how long.

"Alaina, what's your room number?" My eyes slightly opened and all I could make out was the hotel floor which I clearly remember because it had a cool carpet pattern, but right now I couldn't remember what my room number was.

"I don't know Max, just let me crash in your room tonight," I whined. All I wanted to was to be laying down right now with my feet resting.

"Are you sure? I can ask the secretary up front-"

"Max if you don't get me in your bed right now I'm going to crash on this floor and I will not budge. My feet are tired, my body is tired, I am tired." My words slurred as I again began to see all black. God I just want this night to end. I told Lando it would be a terrible idea to come with them tonight and this just about proves it.

I once again woke up but this time I was surrounded by some nice cool sheets, a soft pillow, and a warm hand gently stroking my hair out of my face before it stopped on my jawline. I hummed in satisfaction as my whole body was finally able to relax and rest. "Buonanotte, preziosa." [Goodnight, precious.]