Chapter 41 Zayn’s p.o.v
My eyes open as I take in my surroundings. I’m in the wreck that used to be the car. The memory of what just happened rushes into my mind and I look around for Jasmine, and when my eyes land on her broken and beaten body I catch my breath. I crawl to her. I can feel the glass jabbing into my skin and yet it doesn’t even compare to the pain in my heart that came when I layed eyes on Jasmine.
I pull her into my arms and onto my lap. I try not to hurt her. Her eyes look into mine and a tear slips from them. I hear the faint sound of the ambulances, but they seem miles away.
“Shh… Jazzie don’t worry, you’ll be fine, I can hear the ambulances coming. Don’t go yet. They’re going to save you if you just hold on.” I say although I’m not sure if I’m trying to reassure her or me. The tears start to slip from my eyes. Jasmine reaches up and kisses my trembling lips.
“Zayn I can tell you right now, I’m not gonna make it.” I let the tears slip out as I look down at her. The pain I feel in my heart as the words sink in is unbearable.
“Don’t talk like that.” I say. I can feel her shake in my arms.
“Zayn. I want you to remember that I love you and always have and always will until the end of time. But this is it. This is the end. I will see you one day though.” I let the sobs escape. I shake my head. This can’t be happening!
“You can’t go! You can’t die! I love you! You can’t leave me!” I don’t know why I’m pleading with her. I don’t know how that will help to keep her alive.
“Shh… Baby listen! I want you to move on I want you to meet someone new, get married, have kids, and live a happy life. But to do that you need to remember me in your heart, but forget me in your mind. I need you to let me go so you can move on. All I want is for you to be happy.” How can she say these things? How am I going to move on from her? How will I ever be happy without her? When she dies I die with her. She starts to couch as I sob. Eventually her coughing stops but my sobs go on.
“I’m not letting you do this Jasmine! I’m not letting you die! You can’t leave me! I love you!” I state.
“Listen Zayn! I love you too! But I’m not going to make it out of this! I’m going to go up in the sky or where ever people go after death.” The thought of her dying was killing me. The word 'death' disgusted me. “Maybe I’ll be with Amy and Adam and my Grandpa. I will be there and be waiting for you. But I want you to stay down here and live a HAPPY life, and even though I’ll be waiting for you I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to meet someone new.” I pull her limp body to my chest. The thought of me being with another woman is so horrible that I push it out of my mind and focus on Jasmine and take in every single detail.
“Jasmine, no! I’ll be lost without you! No one could ever replace you in my heart! Please stay with me I love you so much! Don’t leave!” I plead even though the horror of her not making it is slowly creeping up on me. “It’s my time Zayn. I love you with all my heart.” She manages to say. I bend down and kiss her face anywhere I can. “Tell my mum I’ll see her one day. Tell the lads I’ll miss them. Tell Johanna that she should be careful with that stylist job. It seems cursed.” I try to smile at her joke but how can I smile when the one I love is dying in my arm? She reaches up and whips away one of my tears as I do the same fore her. “Thank you for being my best friend and the man I love.” She kisses my cheek before her lips find mine. The familiar fireworks and tingles come and I can’t believe I will be feeling this way for the last time. When we pulled away her sparkling blue eyes blinked slowly closed and then opened again and found my tearing eyes. I knew this was the end for her, and then those sparkling blue eyes I fell in love with closed for the last time with her final words slipping out at just above a whisper. “I love you, don’t forget me.”
A tear slipped off my cheek and landed on her limp body. “I promise I never will and I love you too.”
I could tell the ambulances were close but to me they were miles away. They were the sound of dying hope that was to late show. The driver had crawled away when the car crashed which now seemed like years ago. I never took my eyes of Jasmine’s dying body. I never even blinked. Even with the blood, deep cuts, scratches, limbs pulled out of place, and the scares from long ago she still looked like the most beautiful girl in the entire world to me, and now I watched as her chest rose and fell for the last time. As all the memories of Jasmine and I rushed into my head all the pain and hurt, all the waiting and not thinking, all the laughs and cries we’d shared, all the things we had done together came back.
Now the ambulances’ loud screaming sirens were louder then anyone could ever imagine. I could hear people talking, yelling, and whispering. The shadows with lights came closer but I did not want them to find me. I wanted to be left here to die. I didn’t want them to find me and fix all my visible wounds but forget the one that would never be healed. The one that hid deep in my heart. The one with the only cure being dead in my arms.
I kissed the top of Jasmine’s head. She felt cold. I pulled off my jacket and slipped it over her. Not that corpses could feel cold but just because it was an impulse to keep her safe and warm.
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Well here we are. The really sad chapters.
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~Sandrine <3
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