Breaking Habits

Chapter 19- Micah- She Win

With her wild hair and runny make-up, Beth looks like a broken doll at my front door. She exhales, and I smell Brandy on her breath. My eyes fall down her body and her black trench coat, cinched tightly around her waist makes me wonder if she can breathe.

"Go home Beth. I've had a long night...and I'm drunk and I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

"Please Micah, I can't stand any more rejections tonight." Her voice quivers when she says that.

"Whoever rejected you must have had a real good reason." I scorn and she sniffs looking away.

"You've been crying?"

"No, I'm just cold."

Even in this drunken state, I know she's lying. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long...please can I go in?" She asks like a good little girl. It's making me wonder what's wrong with her. Where is the devious Ice Queen that I'm used to.

"Beth, whatever your deal is, handle it on your own. Like I said, I'm not in the mood."

I get my keys to unlock the door, and she says nothing, nor does she make a move to leave, and because it's not in my heart to leave her out in the cold, I wave in after I go in. Then as soon as I lock the door, I make my way upstairs.

"You already know where things are. I'm going to bed. Call out if you need anything."

"Micah..."

The plea of my name makes me stop. "Don't Beth." I don't want to do what she's asking.

"I need this."

I tread back to her and the closer I get; more tension forms in my head while my heart hammers out my chest.

"Beth, listen to me-I-I can't do what you're asking. You don't want change remember? You're still in love with a man who doesn't love you--"

"I know. I'm starting to see that now."

Her admission makes me sober, and I bend to look at her. So, that's why she's upset. He rejected her and now she's running to me.

"This is a losing game for me. I don't want to take that chance."

"I just need to forget, please."

"You can do that on your own Beth. If you want a shower, there are towels in the bathroom and clean shirts in the laundry room."

She snaps, "so where should I sleep then?"

"Like I told you, not in my bed. The sofa has one... get comfy."

I head back upstairs and when I open the bedroom door, she calls out again.

"Please Micah."

She starts crying and it takes everything in me to slam the door shut on her.

***

I shoot up in bed alarmed from nightmares, and glad it's just a dream I flop back on the pillow with a sigh.

That's when I hear music playing in my house. It's not loud to disturb the neighbours, but it's 3 a.m. when I check the time, so I wonder what Beth's doing.

For a while, I listen to the song that keeps repeating, then when it completely stops, I get curious and crawl out of bed. As I haul on my sweatpants, I reason with myself. I don't want to, but I should check on her. She looked torn apart and might need a friend.

***

The light is low, and I hear her soft cries when I enter. She's laying in the sofa bed with her legs drawn close to her chest. When she sees me, she rolls away, and the song starts playing again.