Overgrown Melody (In My Heart)

Grief's Silent Symphony

I ran over to the edge, thinking of every possible way I could save her, a million thoughts ran through my mind as she fell. However there was nothing I could do to save her in time. I watched hopelessly as she fell to her death. My eyes were too dry to generate tears so I fell to my knees, with a face of pure horror. I couldn't move. I watched as her body hit the ground, landing in front of the group. I watched as they frantically ran over to her, trying to awake her. I ended up throwing up, feeling everything hit me at once. I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't have saved her, but I still felt as if I had failed her. If only I had voiced my concerns about her going earlier... If only I hadn't been so selfish in wanting to stay by Toya's side...

I heard loud, head spinning sirens as the ambulance came and took her in, and saw police come to retrieve me and Toya's father, the lights blinding my tired, empty eyes. I was kneeling on the floor, my fingernails digging into the ground, causing blood to drip from them. They had to carry me down, as I couldn't move a muscle. Despair had taken over me for that moment, and I felt like the world was ending. On the way to the police station, my mind was filled with questions. 'Why?' Was the main one. I hate this. I felt my heart begin to fade.

Before I knew it I had blacked out, once more awakening to my room. I lacked control of my body, and my mouth began to speak for itself. "When I leave, they will not remember me." I uttered, despite not actually knowing what I was saying. My body slinger itself upright without my command, and I felt like my body was that of a puppet. The only thing that remained mine was my mind. However it was so screwed that I couldn't think. My body feel backwards, my head hitting the edge of my bed, causing me to pass out yet again. The confusion alluded me at this point. I just wanted this nightmare to be over.

I awoke to an interrogation room, the very same detective from before interviewing me. My brain felt fuzzy. He was saying things, but I couldn't make them out. His words did not register through my brain. I sat there, mouth open, eyes widened, motionless. Until, I blinked. I felt that control of my body return to me. It was strange.  The detective looked sympathetic. "Is there anything I could get you..?" He asked, these words being the first phrase my brain recognized. I shut my mouth, and moved my hands around. Making small fists as I looked down at my blood stained fingers. My vision blurred occasionally as I looked down at them.

I began to grasp the situation, I began to think of the words that were spoken through my mouth. They won't remember me after I leave..? Does that mean everything we had done and accomplished together would go to waste..? I felt my heart skip a beat. "I Need..!" I yelped, desperation filling my body and mind. I tightly clenched my fists, realizing my hands were fading. This was it. I wouldn't have time to see the group again. I couldn't let them just forget... That would mean this world's version of me would go back to suffering. An would have no one to help her with her grief surrounding Kohane, other than Toya, who she'd blame for the death of her. The guy we had saved would revert back to his old ways, not having a reason to reflect on his past actions. Without everything we worked so hard to understand, nothing exists.

Despite the overwhelming grief and anxiety I was experiencing myself, I built the strength to ask for something. "Paper... 5 pieces. And a pen."  I asked, losing my grip on this reality, desperately trying to stay grounded. Defying the will of the universe. The detective returned and gave these things to me, along with a cup of water. I began to write, my wrists trembling. Letters to them. I didn't want to clue them in on my existence, no that was not my goal. They didn't need extra grief to shoulder. I went into detail about their situations, and left my last wishes for them, my hopes, and finally, the lyrics to me and Toya's song. Hoping one day, they'd be able to sing it.

I felt tears pour down my checks as I wrote the letters. Particularly when it came to Kohane. I couldn't forgive myself for letting her go. On the back of each letter, I wrote a piece of my tribute to her, detailing my feelings of sorrow and regret, hoping that the mystery of reading the full passage would bring everyone together. I folded each of the papers up, and wrote names on them. Ena, Akito, Toya, and An. The back of the letters tittle split up into four separate parts spelling "Kohane". I handed them over to the detective, as I felt my body disappearing. I didn't particularly like the detective all that much, but I was entrusting my legacy in this world onto him. He took the letters, watching as I disintegrated into nothingness. "This is my farewell to this cruel world, please pass on my sincere thanks, and my letters, detective." I said with a smile on my face before blacking out.