An other possibility

chapter 6

Nothing is more invigorating and helps to think than a cup of tea.. thought Penelope.  She was also thinking about the visit she received from Lord Drebling, it seemed strange but she felt serene and safe with her person, perhaps because this man didn't know her, she felt she was what she was without being judged, in fact she even smiled more times when she'd told him about the bizarre adventures he and Colin had had.  But every time she spoke of Colin, for her Penelope was as if a knife pierced her and she stiffened so much so that Lord Drebling, very acutely, stopped mentioning him, seeing her wince every time she mentioned her name. .
She was blushing too when, taking her leave, Lord Drebling touched her hand to her lips.  She hadn't felt uncomfortable.  Even when he watched her as she answered her questions, it didn't bother her, she could tell she had found an elective affinity with this man.  She sighed, why couldn't she fall in love on command?
Why couldn't she forget or stop loving on command?
The arrival of her mother, followed by Prudence and Felicity, roused her from her ruminations.
"Oh Penelope you're here...well get ready we go to the milliner for the dresses for the viscount's engagement party, we've been invited."
"I won't come, mother. I don't want to annoy you with my presence and with the rumors about it. So you can enjoy the evening"
"Not even for a dream, you will be with us, as I told you we have to find you a husband, there is no better place than an engagement party to find a husband. God willing, I could also marry Prudence and Felicity, I'd be so happy!!"  Her mother said, clapping her hands like a child.
"But mother, I can decide for myself a husband.."
"You lost this chance when you decided not to go to the doctor, now obey, you will have the most beautiful dress....a beautiful yellow with which I know I can see you from afar.." Penelope moaned..
"At least I can choose the color of my dress?"
"Okay...you're so stubborn...who did you get from??"
"I have an idea..." Felicity said behind a fake cough
Penelope smiled at her sister and got up to follow the trio of women.

Madame Delacroix was looking at Penelope with a satisfied look when the young woman lingered on a delicate and ethereal lilac silk.  Madame Delacroix liked Penelope, beyond Felicity Featherington, the other Featherington women were petulant and talkative.
Penelope spoke only when necessary and had a wit that made her presence pleasant.
"This fabric is enchanting madame ... but maybe it's not for me, too refined, in the end, my mother is right, the usual yellow will be fine" she said, sighing.
"Good girl, it's useless to spend all this money on that silk with that color that doesn't suit you.."
"I beg to differ lady Featherington, Miss Featherington's colors go very well with this shade of lilac"
"You can disagree what you want, it's me who pays and decides and yellow gold is perfect for Penelope"
"As you wish, are you sure then Miss Penelope? Don't you want to see anything else?"
"No thank you ma'am"

Once out of the shop, Penelope felt a great weight on her stomach, she was nauseous and had to tell her mother that she needed to go home, her mother decided, since they were 2 blocks from home, to let her go away alone.
She couldn't wait to get home but she had to stop several times due to some dizziness... what if her mother was right about her?  If she was pregnant....how would she have coped with everything...
Yet another dizziness led her to get too close to the road while she was approaching a carriage, her horse neighed and she Penelope was losing balance except that two powerful arms blocked her fall.
She felt a muscular body hugging her and the cologne she knew very well invaded her.
"Pen…careful!" Colin said, hugging her more than he should.
A moment after recovering from her illness, Penelope abruptly pulled away from him.
"Colin what are you doing?"
"Save your life? You were about to fall under the wheels of that carriage!"  Colin squeezed her arms to keep her still, for Penelope it was too much ... seeing him so close, smelling her, remembering her words, feeling those hands of hers squeezing her.  It was too much.
She spewed some of the tea and biscuits she had eaten onto Colin's waistcoat.
She was shocked and mortified.
Luckily no one was passing at that moment and Colin signaled a hired buggy to stop, he could neither accompany Penelope in those conditions nor leave her there alone.
"Salts"
Penelope did not have the courage to contradict.
Once he checked that no one had seen them, Colin entered too.
Penelope immediately took her handkerchief and went to clean Colin
"I'm really mortified Mr Bridgerton....I wasn't well this morning..."
Colin stopped her hands.
"Let me do it...I don't want you to get dirty."  She told him softly.
"I'm sorry mr..."
"Stop Penelope!"  She said firmly.
"I got you all dirty"
"I didn't tell you to stop cleaning me but you have to stop calling me Mr Bridgerton, you never called me that, why do you do that? Why are you treating me so coldly?"
"Nothing, that's right, we are no longer kids but adults, that's right"
"And our friendship, Penelope? You know I promised to take care of you..."
"Really? Like the night of my attack?"  Penelope regretted having said those words at the same time they had come out of him.  She put a hand over her mouth.
Colin continued cleaning himself.
"That was it then...I wasn't by your side and didn't protect you when that scoundrel attacked you, that's why you're mad at me....don't think I'm cursing me a thousand times for leaving you alone to chat with my friends!"  Colin said aloud.
"I'm not mad about that, I'm mad about what you told your friends, that I was just a girl with a teenage crush on you..while I you...I..."
Colin was shocked, he had heard those stupid words, that the moment of alcoholic exultation, he had said.
"Did you listen to an idiot who had one more drink, you know I didn't think of you at all as a besotted teenager. I've been seeing you every day for years! I see what you are Penelope. You're a gorgeous woman"
"Don't say things you can regret!"
"I don't regret saying that you are beautiful, that every time you look at me it takes my breath away, that these days that I spent with you ignoring me, I spent them in hell."
Colin moved to her seat next to her.
"Look at me Pen" taking her from her arms and turning her towards him.
"I was a fool to say those words, and I was a fool to let all this time go by before I did this"
Colin took her arms around her and kissed her.