I'm Not Okay(I promise)

Chapter 20: Surprised visitor

It's the next day. I get changed and I head downstairs but while walking down, I swear I hear mom talking to someone. It's a male voice. Is it familiar, I can't tell yet. I get to the end of the stairs to see it's.. Gerard!
"Gerard? What are you doing here?" I ask in confusion. I can hear m loy heart beat beating in my ears. Oh my.. They way he looks over to me. The way his black silky hair falls in front of his face, making him scoop it back by his pale white hand. I can feel me getting shaky. Why am I like this? Why to my friend, Gerard. Am I sick? Do I feel good? I'm not good. I'm not okay.. This feeling I never felt. What is this feeling? I can't describe. If I do I wouldn't stop talking. Why do I feel tingly. Like I'm numb. Like I just got injected with Novocaine. I feel like my pupils my explode from how wide they have gotten. I can't stop admiring this.. Teenage weird boy. Something has to be wrong with me. Am I alright in the head. I must be sick. I'm so achy. I feel like I might collapse from how much I'm shaking. I'm not scared. Nor happy. Well.. I don't how to explain it. Is this.. Love? No.. Can't be. Well, I don't even know how it feels. I never felt love.
"Charlie? Charlie!" Mom calls out
"H-huh what?"
Mom points at Gerard as Gee gives me a little wave.
"H-hi, Charlie! Good morning.. I-im just giving your mom the schedules for Croquet and band practice"
I nod and grin response, going back into my thoughts.
Gerard is so perfect. I don't know if it's just my taste of guys that's making me feel this way? It's just.. Gerard's hair is so perfect. It fits him so well from how dark it is compare to his pale white skin. But then he has those soft gentle hazel eyes. When he gets sad, they turn a light shade of hazel. When he gets upset, they turn darker. Like a dark brown. I break from my thoughts.
"I- uh- c-cool! Thanks, Gee. We better get going now" I announce as I begin to walk to the door as Gerard rushes after me.
"Bye Mrs. Peters! Thanks for the poptarts!" Gerard giggles loudly.
I get to the door, opening as Gerard walks out and close it. I jump slightly to see that the rest are waiting outside of the door.
"Oh hi guys?!" I laugh awkwardly and in surprised.
They all laugh as we begin to walk to the sidewalk.
"Hey Charlie?.. Um when we go back to my place after school.. Can I put on the makeup I'm wearing right now on you? It's really simple, it's just eyeliner, red eyeshadow and some white paste to make your skin look pale. I know makeup really isn't your thing so that's why I'm asking" Gerard explains a little unsure.
"Oh.. That sounds fun! I want to try something different.. Since I put like a little bit of eyeliner onto my water line, it shouldn't be bad. Plus I feel like I'll fit more into the band" I shrug as explain to Gerard.
"I can't wait to look like a vampire" I chuckle out as Gerard scoffed and hits my shoulder, playfully.