An Aurora over the Skyline

envisaging love

I've been envisaging "love" all through this time,

Until I discovered myself dying-

Mentally. Physical torture no bar,

I don't fit here. All I know is I've come afar.

Miles away from the family who owned me despite the disaffection-

For I was always into synchronizing my feet to the rhythm.

I'm sorry.

But my organs aren't the regulators to my unmanliness.

Neither the inherited genes provoke to wear makeup on my face.

I am apologetic for them who are apologetic for raising me.

Even if they don't say- it takes not long to see.

But. I don't know this place:

Where staying feels like suffocation-

And leaving is so much frustration.

The toxicity of drugs makes me scream aloud a 'FUCK" to my presence.

But my love for Kurtis and Bindis were only innocent.

What else would I build 'love' with- to let it stand concrete?

All roads end to bewilderment and envy, maybe.

I loved and wanted to be loved, for eternity-

I loved them who were more like me.

I did not judge our unmanliness,

But.....the roads ended locking me up in this maze.

Packed in a cage- with different of the similar taste;

In no atmosphere we breathe in each other's sweat.

Engulfed in a brutal envelope of fog,

Our mouths are sealed. They don't want us to talk.

Here's no sky to look up, that once looked so well.

Thirst lets drink here the own spittle.

They speak bad words, addresses us 'gays:

Demolished our innocent souls, and sold us off one day.

What worth is it to rip off a soul's existence-?

Whose manly love for 'Kurtis' and 'bindis' were so innocent?

A naïve soul that kept the lights on in the room-

Has its eyes though opened, but sees only the gloom:

The gloom. That felt so black, eerie and spooky,

Has the forever in the unnerving obscurity.

~envisaging love