Tamlins Redemption

Chapter 1

I was blazing through the labyrinth of trees. Shredding every fucking tree in my way. Letting it all out. I had to get it out. This pit of never ending rage. Before it consumed me.

Feyre was pregnant. She'd nearly died, and Rhysand! Rhysand had everything I wanted. Everything I needed, the love and respect of his people! A mate that would give her own life. Bind her own damn life rather than be separated from him. He had the mate he loved. Everything yes. Rhysand indeed had everything. And now he even had a son.

I gazed around  the shredded trees and hollow woods representing everything I felt. Everything I was. Hollow, ruined and wortless. No one needed me or wanted me anymore and I couldn't quite blame them.

I'd betrayed everyone over and over again. Starting with Rhysand.

Yes, I did deserve everything that came my way just as Rhysand had told me that day at the manor. I wish Rhysand  ripped me into bloody ribbons.

And my father. Bastard! There aren't words to describe him. I hate him! Hate everything that bastard did. Every inch of him. That cunning bastard that knew Rhys had trained me. That me the pathetic youngest son finally had a friend.

And me being that young idiotic boy I was told my father where Rhysand and his mother would be. Not thinking better of it. His sister was also there. And I couldn't sto..........

I clenched my jaw pushing down the memories. The guilt! No need on dwelling on the past now! Rhysand would never forgive me. And I'dnever forgive myself. A part of me wished Rhysands father did reach my room in time and that he would've ended me. That way even Feyre  would've been spared from me.

I was caught off guard bt the  joyous humming of  a laluby as old as time. I knew that from somewhere. But where. How far have I wandered?

I wasn't in the Middle. I could be. And such  creatures luring you in wouldn't come close to the human territory. They couldn't, could they?

My heartbeat quickened as the sound drew near. But, I  didn't move. Couldn't.

I half paused as he beheld what stood infront of me. A smiling little girl with ashblond hair and yet there was a golden glimmering shine to it. With the most beautiful bright teal eyes I've ever seen.

This had to be some creature from the Middle. It came closer but didn't reveal itself only humming the tune.

By the Cauldron. Couldn't it just pounce already. Put him out of his misery. Why was it taking so long.

I didn't move. If it indeed was a creature... a lightsinger then for all I care the thing can me to bloody ribbons. I hope it does.

I am done!

But as the little girl came closer her face let up. Here it comes.

" Kitty!"

She jumped up into my arms diggingbher little head into my fur and started stroking it with her littlenhand. I was met with her curious eyes tapping my nose and I was too shocked to move. To breathe. She wasn't a lightswinger. Far cry from it. But, what really took me aback was that she wasn't afraid of me.

Understatement of the year the little thing was patting my head. Okay then so she wasn't a lightswinger. But, that didn't answer the question what the hell was she doing here all alone?

I  saw the pointy ears. Fae. She was so small and apparently tired. It was almost dawn and it was freezing outside. Who'd leave a child out in the dead of winter. I scanned the woods.  Listened for a sighn. Any sighn that someone might be looking for  her. There was no one. Not even a scent. He couldn't leave her.

The poor thing was so small and by the way she nuzzeled into me and I could feel the coldness of her bones. How long had she been out here and when has she last eaten? How'd she survive?

I ran to the manor as fast as I could. Holding her tight forcing heat into her. The little one drifting of to sleep as she yawned. And for the first time In a long time I did something I really ever did these days. I smiled.

The manor was a true mess and I couldn't find anything in the kitchen as I sat her down on the table.

She rubbed her eyes . And reached for me with a frown on her face.

" Kitty"

I switched back and she glared at me and rubbed her head in confusion.

"Kitty?"

I scanned the cupboards at last finding some milk. Luckily Lucien had brought supplies. He knew it was out of pure pitty. I honestly didn't care. I was just glad for it.

These days I really didn't care about anything. Let alone food. And now it was coming back to bite me in the ass.

I was ripped out of my thoughts by another little yawn.

Quickly I got some milk and heated it up placing it infront of her with her little feet dangling from the tabletops.

By the Cauldron she was small.
I helped her drink the first glass full but she quickly took the glass from me. I smiled. Feisty little one.
She chugged the milk so fast I thought she might choke. Her eyes brightened slightly. She held out the glass to me.

" You want more?"

I only got a nod from her  as she rubbed her tiny lips together taking in every drop of milk .

I refilled, reheated and gave it to her. Her eyes were so wide as she swallowed the warm milk as if she'd never drink another glass  again in her life.

She held it out and and the edge of my mouth curled up.

" Again?"

She gave me a slight smile and nodded her head. Her hair falling over her face.

Eight, Yes eight glasses of milk later I picked up the little thing so gently. Afraid that I might break her  just by touching her.

I took her to the only suitable room and tucked her into the bed.
I put blanket, over blanket on her until she was so bundled up you could barely see her tiny face.
I crashed down in the chair besidesher bed and watched her.

Watched her chest rise and fall afraid that if I looked away it might not rise again. I've messed up a lot of things in my life. This wouldn't be one of them.

She turned to the side her eyes glaring slightly. Tiredness seeping all through her little body but those little eyes were fighting to stay open. How long have they been fighting?

" What's your name little one? "I asked.

She only pointed with her little hand to the window. I peered through the window and gott up to close the curtains looking through the window as the first light of dawn forced itself through the clouds beyond and then smiled.

" Okay then..... Dawn. For the time being we'll call you Dawn."

The edge of her mouth curled slightly as her eyes finally gave in and then she was out. I sat in the chair and only after hours I too started to drift off. With an ease in my heart that I couldn't begin to contemplate.

The heat of the sun on my cheeck woke my up. It was already midday but, it wasn'tlike I had anythingto do for the day. And on his lap curled a little bundle of light. Maby the only light he now had in his life.... Dawn.

I smiled as I stroked the ash blond strokes of her hair. I could help this feeling I tried to get out. The one that had destroyed everything . The one I didn't want to ever let in. Never again.  This feeling of caring.

This feeling of love.

I let her rest. Not daring to move a muscle just in case it might wake her. I'd let her sleep for a little while longer. She turned around looking me straight in the eyes. Weak yes but determination seeped out of her bones.And her eyes contained so much hope and dreams. It was so bright it could light up the whole world. The whole nightsky even in a way that starfall couldn't. So bright it could make my very own heart of stone crack wide open.