Azur Lane - The next one who nukes the mainland, gets cleaning duty!

Week 7

Small note: Still got some stuff in my drafts from 2 years ago. Will post periodically again for a while.

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40. I can handle the misplacement of nukes, and I can tolerate the occasional war crime, but let me be perfectly clear; you WILL stay away from the (censored) oil.
A. Loading your ship with submarine fuel does not mean you can submerge underwater.
A1. Fine, I relent. technically you can, but you'll never be able to resurface again, either.
B. Anyone knows what a coal-fired steam-turbine is? I haven't seen one in years...
B1. If we ever get a Z51 within out fleet, I'll marry her instantly.
C. You cannot refuel your vessel by drinking the oil straight from a can.
D. Aircraft carriers cannot mix their jet-propellent with the heavy fuel.
D1. The resulting explosions do not make you go faster. You just sink.

41. No, shipgirls are unable to transfer out to another fleet, or quit from the navy. We kind of desperately need you to protect the earth.
A. Nobody is retiring before I do. I kind of deserve it.
B. This goes double for anyone trying to enter the army. The army is the navy's (censored).
B1. I'm sure the recent insanity and hijinks isn't just exclusive to the navy. The army could be much worse.
B2. No, I've never heard of this 'Skippy' person before.
B3. We have cookies.

42. There are prohibition rules on alcohol inside this fleet. I don't need to make new ones, do I?
A. Vestal will now start charging people for the removal of tattoos that they don't remember getting in the first place.
B. Claiming that I gave you a marriage ring while blackout drunk will just result in your untimely demise by Roon and Akagi.
B1. This doesn't mean that Roon and Akagi can make the same claim themselves. Even if drunk, I'm not that stupid.
C. Despite multiple claims saying otherwise, Laffey isn't biologically unable to get drunk. If you see her walking around with multiple bottles, please restrain her.

43. fleet formations are planned long beforehand and are picked out carefully to maintain team balance, versatility, and unit skills. Stop ignoring them.
A. Pushing Juneau in the frontlines and asking her to 'make sure she dies first' will be considered an assisted murder attempt.
A1. yes, I did give her a pearl tear. Please stop pointing it out. I'm trying to be subtle.
B. Do not withdraw from the formation whenever Jeanne d'Arc is involved. She has assured me that the fire is completely harmless.
B1. Yes, Jeanne putting her own ship on fire is intentional.
B2. Don't question why, It just works.
C. Just because I often use Yuubari's ability, doesn't mean I have a gambling addiction.

44. The new geography lessons are mandatory. It would not do to have a ship mistake the coordinates of a local village for an enemy base.
A. War is the only way to make the Eagle union learn geography. You cannot blame me for walking through that open door.
B. North and South are not 'up' and 'down.'
C. Can we all agree to make use of the western world map, for simplicity's sake?
C1. I'm sorry Nagato, but why did your country's world map forget to put the south pole in the south?
C2. I'm sorry Bismarck, but why does your country's world map identify the entire Eurasian continent as Germany?
C3. I'm sorry Chao Ho, but please get a world map that actually bothers identifying other foreign countries.
D. The end of the North pole does not contain the One Piece.
E. Austria and Australia are on two completely opposite parts of the world.
E1. Australia is the continent. Austria is Germany with mountains.
F. There is no planet called 'Transsexual' in a galaxy called 'Transylvania'
F1. There is no planet called 'Transsexual.'
F2. There is no galaxy called 'Transylvania.'
F3. Formidable, you need better taste in music.

45. Some people are unable to handle criticism. Keep you opinions about others in confidence.
A. Note to Shoukaku; The foxes have above average hearing.
A1. Note to self: Akashi has probably installed a wiretap in my office.
A2. Note to all units: The secretary hears everything~!

46. It is paramount for fleet leaders to understand the capabilities of their subordinates. Boasting about said capabilities will just result in you being sortied to battles you have no way of dealing with.
A. York has never been "trained to conquer galaxies."
A1. York, if you refuse to admit to this lie, I'll let you prove it by arm wrestling Roon. Please respond.
B. Being experienced with handling nukes might sound impressive on your resume, but it does not improve your chances with me.
C. Being 'airdroppable' is not a skill we're expecting ships to have. It does not have to be mentioned.
C1. Everyone is airdroppable at least once. It doesn't impress anyone.
D. Breast size does not equal to battle might.
D1. Look at Kashino. Then look at Warspite. You will see the difference.
E. Ship rarity does not bestow special powers.
E1. Yes, I'm aware Musashi exists. I admit there may be outliers.
E2. Let it be known throughout the naval base that consuming Bullins by eating them alive does not improve naval capabilities and will not instantly bestow retrofits onto you.
E3. I assure you, Ägir will not become a 'super-ultra-mega-rare-decisive-exclusive 7 star' unit as a result of cannibalism.

47. Azur Lane should not be accessible through Amazon and Chinese web shop couriers. Please stop ordering items online to our highly secret naval base!
A. Following last week, any time a cubic container holding litres of super-glue is to arrive at our naval base, please imprison Albacore for immediate questioning.
B. The Northern parliament DO NOT share my bank account for their shopping needs. Anyone claiming the opposite will be forced to work under Akashi for the upcoming month.
C. If your equipment does not come standard with giant mech suits, you may not add one.
C1. Where are you buying these?!
D. Can shipgirls who are on kitchen duty please stop ordering UberEats to distribute amongst the cafeteria?
D1. The cafeteria menu cannot simply be "1; Chinese, 2;Pizza."
E. I do not know what is in that live animal transport crate that you girls ordered, but no. Absolutely not. Never. Stop it now.
E1. If you release whatever that is into my naval base, I will confiscate all of your weapons before sending you to recapture it with a ball of yarn.
F. To the one person, whoever they may be, who ordered the inordinately big shipment of liquid nitrogen and dry ice — (censored) you. Go fix my toilet.