"Hold me close so I can finally... breathe"
Marriage wasn't something Carina Bridgerton looked forward to. And true love was not something she dreamed of. She had declared it very clearly to her family that no marriage shall ever be expected from he...
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[ALTERNATE CHAPTER 16 - if chapter 16 went according to the show. NOT a part of the BREATHE storyline] T.W : Sexual themes, mentions of sex, masturbation.
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Carina was promenading with Simon, hearing stories from his Oxford days with great joy, there is so much information that can be used for extortion from Anthony, "He knew this, of course." Simon said as Carina laughed, her eyes filled with mirth. "And so Anthony Bridgerton..." she repeats, "Mm." "...serious man that he is..." it was now Simon's turn to laugh, "...let a farm animal into your dormitory? Why ever would you put up with such pranks?" she says with a giggle. "He was my friend. Who do you think helped your brother get the animal back out?" he retorted. "Of course it was you." she sasses.
Then Carina felt silent, lost in her thoughts. Knowing she is never one to remain silent at any given moment, unless reading, he questions, "What has got you so silent? What are you thinking?" "Nothing, you would never wish to know." she clips back. "Oh, really? I would like for you to try me." he says with a fierce look in his eyes and challenge in his words, aware of the way Carina would never back down from a challenge. "Oh? So would you like me to tell you? Is that so, Your Grace? Are you sure you would not regret it?" she challenges back with a smirk. "Do you see me backing down, My Lady?" he sasses.
Turning to the view yet again, on the side of the bridge, Carina says, "Very well then your grace. I was just wondering.... My sister, Daphne apparently got in a spat with Eloise about marriage, who raised some wonderful questions. So, my sister... she- uh" Carina tries to figure out the best way to say it, flustered about the words she is about to say, when Simon provokes her, "Maybe it is you who shall regret this conversation Carina," and she loses all sense of propriety, "She asked about relations between a married couple. Of course she was curious, every lady is. She asked whether their was more to marriage than friendship as mama told us, something physical and intangible." Simon's cheeks were dusted with a light pink colour, barely visible, yet he knew, he knew he was flushed and he wondered how a few, carefully chosen words from this woman can have such an effect on him that even the most seductive of the women he slept with did not have. He cleared his throat and Carina turned to look at him as she continued,
"I told her she was right about that, but then she proceeded by asking how can something be physical and intangible when they mean quite the opposite." He laughed at the absurdity of the lack of knowledge the debutantes have, also at Carina's predicament for her face conveys how painful the conversation with her was, "You are beastly! Never mind." she said. "No. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the absurdity of how little mothers tell their daughters... and maybe a little at your expense." "They tell us nothing." she exclaims. "I told her I could not tell her, at least not until her wedding day, for it was not my place. She has the right to know this before her marriage, and I wonder... should I tell her?" she says.
