"Hold me close so I can finally... breathe"
Marriage wasn't something Carina Bridgerton looked forward to. And true love was not something she dreamed of. She had declared it very clearly to her family that no marriage shall ever be expected from he...
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Carina was promenading with Simon, hearing stories from his Oxford days with great joy, there is so much information that can be used for extortion from Anthony, "He knew this, of course." Simon said as Carina laughed, her eyes filled with mirth. "And so Anthony Bridgerton..." she repeats, "Mm." "...serious man that he is..." it was now Simon's turn to laugh, "...let a farm animal into your dormitory? Why ever would you put up with such pranks?" she says with a giggle. "He was my friend. Who do you think helped your brother get the animal back out?" he retorted. "Of course it was you." she sasses.
Then Carina felt silent, lost in her thoughts. Knowing she is never one to remain silent at any given moment, unless reading, he questions, "What has got you so silent? What are you thinking?" "Nothing, you would never wish to know." she clips back.
"Oh, really? I would like for you to try me." he says with a fierce look in his eyes and challenge in his words, aware of the way Carina would never back down from a challenge. "Oh? So would you like me to tell you? Is that so, Your Grace? Are you sure you would not regret it?" she challenges back with a smirk. "Do you see me backing down, My Lady?" he sasses.
Turning to the view yet again, on the side of the bridge, Carina says, "Very well then your grace. I was just wondering.... I do not wish to do this, find a husband to build a family with when I am not even sure if I am ready to be married."
Simon's eyes softened, looking at her while she looks out into the water, with the kind of softness in his eyes that didn't make sense being there, not to him at least. Lady Danbury and Violet observing them from afar would have different words to say on the matter.
"It would not only be unfair to me, but also to my husband, and my children if I have any. I am just now realising, just as how I should not give up my freedom to have babies because my husband wants them, he also shouldn't have to give up his desires of family because I do not wish the same." she says with so much feeling her voice cracked, with a sigh she reels her emotions back in and turned to Simon, "What about you? Surely you would want an heir some day?"
It was Simon's turn to be lost in feels, he hesitated for a minute, unsure if he would want to go down that path, but then gave in.
He gave in to the stupid woman and her stupid smile, that stupid woman with her stupid eyes. Her stupid words that made him feel significant in her life, and her stupid actions to trust him even in her plight. He gave in, to that feeling he got in his chest when she was around, and he gave in to the urge to call her a friend- his friend- just because he liked the sound. So he gave in, and decided to trust her, like he never did anyone else. He decided to trust her with everything he ever felt.
"I- I was not that close with my father." he began, looking onto the lake now, as Carina turned to look at him, then chuckled sardonically, "that is putting it bluntly. My father... he was not a good man, or a good father figure. I never saw him much, he did not like me. Like is far-fetched even, I would say he was more- ashamed of me. I used to have a- a terrible stutter as a child." he confessed, not daring to look in Carina's direction in fear of whatever judgement he might see in her eyes. Startled to instead feel her hand slip into his and her fingers intertwining with his own, he turned to look at her.
