Hold On To Him | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 17

It's taken a while, but I'm with the story!

Enjoy :)

Frankie's P.O.V.
I'm in bed, evaluating the happenings from today. Why can't a day be just a normal day for us? A normal day with a normal family. No lies, no tears, no nothing. A happy family that goes out to the park or beach, plays football or soccer in the backyard, has a family dinner at least once a week where we talk to each other about the week we've had. Things like that. But no, that's not our family. That's not what happened today. Today was another day full of lies, tears and hugs.

Hugging Kevin felt unnatural knowing I'm keeping this massive secret from him. I'm keeping the secret from everyone. It's making me feel immensely guilty, knowing these kinds of secrets got us into this situation in the first place.

It's not like I want to be addicted to drugs. I would not say I'm addicted to the stuff yet. Ever since that first time, I've used three times. No matter how much I want to, I can't right now. There are too many people in the house. Anyone can walk in at any given time.

I want to use now, but I don't either. It's too risky with our house full, but it's the feeling of being high that I really crave.

My thoughts are racing at full speed. Maybe I shouldn't be alone right now. I might still use if I stay here by myself any longer. I don't think I have enough strength to not use. Does that make me an addict? I'm not sure yet. It's not like I'm sweating or have headaches. Those are the common symptoms of withdrawal, right? I'm not sure, I've not done enough research on the subject yet. Might be wise to do sometime.

I get up slowly and open the door, hoping it won't creak. It never really does, but I don't want this to be the first time. I look out into the hallway. There aren't any lights on so I'm sure everyone is asleep by now.

Who should I go to? I know I usually would go to Pippa, but I don't want to bother her. She's already been a great sister for me today and I don't want her to get annoyed with me. I don't want to make her feel like she has to take care of me all the time. She's not my mom.

Speaking of my mom, I could go to her. Maybe she'll let me get in her bed with her and keep me safe for the night. I'm not sure if dad would appreciate it though. He likes his space in bed.

I could go to Nick for a change. Maybe he'll let me stay with him. I remember the times where Pippa went to him basically every other night if not every. He never seemed to have a problem with that.

I silently open his door to see him knocked out in bed. I walk over to his bed and lay my hand on his shoulder. I softly rock him. "Nick?"

He groans into his blanket. "What time is it?" He asks me. "It's like 3." I tell him. "What do you want Tank. Get out of here and let me sleep." He spits. "I.. uhm.. I was wondering if I could stay with you for a bit." I ask him feeling not sure if I still wanted to.

"No and get out. It's late. Go to sleep or somewhere else." He spits again. He pushes me off harshly. "Why can't I stay with you? Please?" I ask him with the softest voice I can muster.

"I don't want you, okay? Ever!" He throws a pillow to my face and I run out of the room, leaving the door open. I hear him get up with a grumble and close the door.

Now I'm not so sure what to do. I might as well take something. I walk back to my room and close the door behind me.

I reach under the bed for the little case I've hidden there. I open it and take one tiny little pill. I don't like how much power such a small thing holds over me, but I can't help it. I take it quickly and put the case back under my bed.

Tears run down my face. Why did Nick deny me? It's not like he ever denied Pippa like that. Am I worth nothing to him? Am I really that terrible little brother no one wants?

I lie down in bed, letting the pill work its magic. I notice soon it's working good.

The door opens slowly and I get scared very quickly. What if the person notices weird behavior. What if they notice something is up with me?

"Frankie? Are you okay?" Joe sits down on the edge of the bed. "I heard the everything that happened in Nick's room. He was way out of line. I'm gonna make sure tomorrow that he knows that. He won't get away with this. I promise." I let out a sob and Joe leans down to wrap his arms around me.

"Will you stay with me?" I'm too scared to ask, but the thought of being all alone right now scares me even more.

"Of course I will stay with you. You don't have to ask me for such a thing." He says. "Apparently you're the only one." I mumble under my breath. "What?" He asks me. "Nothing." I quickly respond.

"Come on." He nudges me a little to the left to make space for him. He lies down next to me and pulls the blanket up to our chins. He wraps his arms around me and it makes me feel safe. The kind of safety that feels like I haven't had in a very long while.

"Are you comfortable?" Joe asks me sweetly. I nod into his shoulder. "Very much so." I answer.

We lay there for a little. Me relishing in Joe's warmth.

"Thank you." I tell him. He doesn't respond verbally, but the slight squeeze he gives me speaks a million words.

Thank you all so much for reading. Hope you liked it!