Hold On To Him | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 13

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Kevin's P.O.V.
I kept myself awake all night, mulling over Frankie. What he revealed to me back at the hospital really scared me. The anger inside of him. The way his fists clenched and left marks on his palms.

This all is just one big mess. I can't believe I let things get this far. I should have done better. I should have been a better brother for each of them. Why couldn't I have been better?

Maybe this sounds selfish, but I need my baby brother to be okay. At least than I'd have done one thing good in my life.

Ever since this started, I've stopped believing in happy endings. Maybe they exist, but not in this life. Not in ours.

I think that that's where Frankie's anger is coming from. He's a lot like me in that way. He wants everyone to be okay and tries to make it happen, no matter the costs. Even if it'll be the last thing he does.

Well, the good thing is that we'll be picking up Joe from the hospital today. I volunteered to pick him up. After that, Danielle, Alena and I will take Frankie home with us to have some bonding time. Maybe visit the park or something. Get some ice cream. Take his mind off things for a bit.

Danielle, Alena and I get ourselves ready for our hospital visit. When we get there, the doctor explains us the basics with handling Joe's cast. Like he must bag it when taking a shower and not too much movement or carrying stuff around with his broken arm.

Joe could only look up to the ceiling. He'd whistle while doing it, but I don't think that even Joe can be that rude to a doctor. However, I do believe that Joe hasn't heard a single word the doctor said to him.

That's what brought us here. I'm in the park with Frankie. Danielle took Alena home for a nap.

We sit at a picnic table with ice cream we just bought from a parlor.

"Are you feeling any better?" I ask him. He shrugs. "What do you mean?"

"I kind of seem to remember you feeling very angry back at the hospital. Anything you want to share with me?" I ask him.

He shrugs again, focusing on some dirt on the ground while eating his ice cream.

"You know you can talk to me, right? You can trust me if you want." He nods in response.

"I know all that, but you don't have it easy either. I just want to move on from it honestly."

I rest my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off. "I want to move on too, but I can't. Not when this is happening right under my nose. I want to help you move on if that's what you really want. But you can't move on if you haven't processed it. You get what I mean?"

It felt weird when he shoved me off. He's never done that before. No one else but Nick. Does this mean he doesn't want the comfort? Doesn't trust me? Doesn't like me as his brother?

"Kev?" A voice pulls me away from the endless train of thoughts.

"You okay?" He asks me. "Yeah, I am. Are you?" He chuckles. "I'm fine."

"I hope you realize that usually when someone says that they're the complete opposite of fine?" I tell him.

He nods. "I know, but you shouldn't worry so much. And you also shouldn't take me so seriously. I'm still just a hormonal teenager." His own words make him cringe, making me laugh.

"At least we've got that one covered."

"Were you horrible like me back then? When you had my age?" He asks me with a small voice.

"No Frank, in no way are you horrible. You should just ask mom. She'll tell you Joe was the worst one. By far. And about me. No, I don't like to think I was horrible. Moody? Yes. Didn't want to get out of bed in the morning? Yes. Rude? I tried not to be. Especially not towards mom and dad. I was busier with school and extracurriculars. Which is kinda not the point, but you get what I mean. Did I like to make Joe angry when he was being a moody, horrible teenager? You bet ya. Do I feel sorry for mom to have to raise four boys all those years? Yes. Do I feel less guilty about my shenanigans knowing she got at least one girl? Oh yeah."

"Do you feel bad about yourself?" I change the subject back to him.

He shrugs. "Sometimes. I mean, it's not always easy being in the background of the three of you. At least I get to share that with Pippa, but she seems to pull away from me too. That doesn't really make me feel better."

"It's okay to have those feelings. I have them too. Joe and Nick are way more popular than I am. I'm always in their background. Fans sometimes call me Joe or Nick and I can tell you it's not fun." Frankie looks at me like he has no clue about any of this.

"I didn't know that was going on. I'm sorry." He apologizes, looking down again.

"It's okay. I didn't want you to know. But maybe it's better if you heard it. I know I'll never feel what you feel, but maybe it helps you knowing I have some similar feelings and that you can always talk to me about anything and everything." I explain.

He nods. We had finished our ice cream and it was getting colder out, so we made the decision to make our way back home to Danielle and Alena. I figure they'll be up from their naps and give Frankie some bonding time with Alena.

We start walking, but I notice quickly that Frankie stops. I turn around to look at him. "Kev?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." He walks up to me and wraps his arms around my waist. I'm paralyzed by his actions, but soon wrap my arms around his smaller frame to hug him back.

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