To our little ones || Aonung x Neteyam

Chapter 50: Better to speak

Neteyam went down the stairs clumsily, trying to keep up with Ao'nung's fast pace. He knew how immersed in his head he could get in times of desperation, so he thought no use calling for him to stop.

He followed until they were out of the door, in front of the house, past the carriage, until he finally stopped to catch the breath that was escaping him, leaving the white nightly fog to expose his unsuccessful attempts.

"Nung..." Neteyam touched his back to test the waters, not knowing whether to feel worried or relieved at the lack of reaction.

"It's all my fault..."

Ao'nung mumbled. He had the habit of muttering to himself when he was so deeply upset his brain didn't have the time to process such raw emotions, and much to Neteyam's dismay most times he found it difficult to understand him.

"Ao'nung..." Neteyam whispered showing him the calmest expression he could, not to feed into his anxiousness.

"...My fault..." He whispered, eyes terrified while he pointed at his chest, worried that Neteyam would also believe so.

"How could it be? You have no power over this. None of us does."

"He is here because of me...I did this." Ao'nung shook his head. His voice was barely there, incapable of speaking up.

"I do not understand." He whispered taking hold of his ice-cold hands.

Ao'nung tried to speak unsuccessfully. Something was making a hole in his stomach, and at the same time, sitting heavily on his chest. It didn't allow air to go in or out of his lungs, breath stuck along with that sorrowful wail that since childhood never came out.

His hands went to cover his face in shame and regret. After so long he had never expected his past to haunt him in such a way, much less drag those who he love along.

Theo was vicious. He always knew his nature, and it was one of the reasons why Ao'nung approached him with not-so-hidden intentions after so many years of knowing each other.

His shameless obsession could be addictive because it often made Ao'nung want to test his limits, to push him until Theo's pride would finally break down, making him beg for the attention Ao'nung so much loved to starve him off.

It was their fun little game. They would constantly chase and test one another to prove just how much control they had over the other.

It was never meant to be something serious, Ao'nung made it clear, but Theo was prideful and he could not handle the idea of being easily replaced. So utterly capricious and spoiled rotten that he felt entitled to the world, and in his mind the idea of Ao'nung not wanting him back was unthinkable.

And by the time Ao'nung realized, it was too late to stop it, already caught in an endless circle of bitter obsession and irrational possessiveness.

"He is here because of me, only if I didn't...if I..." His lip trembled, now another concerning thought plaguing his head.

Would Neteyam be angry if he were to know about what kind of relationship Ao'nung had with the man that was currently staying at his home?

Would he be upset if he were to know what kind of shameless, cold-hearted bastard Ao'nung used to be? Would he believe in his change or would he think it was just one of his tricks?

"Nung, you are panicking, I can't understand you when you are like this, please try to breathe, hum?" Neteyam caressed his back softly and only then he realized just how hard he was panting, as if he had run miles.

The sound of steps coming from the house got their attention. Theo stood a few feet away while smoking a cigarette without haste, and he was watching them with an amused smirk that made Ao'nung's blood boil.