stars, records and heart shaped glasses

chapter six - doubts

The morning after. Sirius had the worst headache. He felt like throwing up, again. And he thought about what had happened that night.

He had kissed Remus. Oh god, that was not gonna end well for him, he feared.

The first way that came to his mind to deal with it, was to ignore that it ever happened, maybe Remus would join him with that. He regretted the kiss, of course, but there was no denying that he had liked it. Which didn't mean anything, Remus was just such a good kisser, he told himself.

When he got up, he felt really dizzy and barely made it into the bathroom without falling. He did throw up then, but because he hadn't eaten yet, there was nothing coming out, really.

After, he looked at himself in the mirror, while he brushed his teeth to get rid of the disgusting taste in his mouth. His make up was completely smudged and he thought he kinda looked like a raccoon, at which he cackled. He tried getting it off with water, but that just made it worse.

Did he really have to go through the common room like this and to the girls' rooms just to get it off? He grunted, then took some soap and rubbed it on his lids.

"Need some help?", Remus asked, who had just appeared in the door frame, amused at him.

"Uh... Y-Yes, yes, please."

Sirius heart began to race when Remus came closer and took a face cloth to help him get the soap of his eyelids, that was now running into his eyes, which hurt. A lot.

"Ouch, be careful Moony", he whined and Remus was now slower, a little softer, until the soap was mostly gone.

"Let me use this", he said, taking a tube out of the cupboard next to the sink and applying it to Sirius' face.

Sirius let himself sink into the touches, Remus hands on his cheeks, pretending like they'd kiss any second, which they didn't, of course, and which he also wouldn't want to do anyways.

It worked a lot better now and it didn't take much longer until the make up was fully gone.

"Thanks."

"Of course, Padfoot."

Ouch. That hurt, even more than the soap. No Pads, not even a Paddy. Guess he'd have to accept that if he wanted to make last night unhappened.

"Did you throw up tonight?", Remus then asked.

"Yeah, right after... Umm... I did probably have too much alcohol."

It suddenly got really warm in the bathroom.

"Wanna go eat?" Remus truly was the best at saving awkward moments.

The pretending the kiss didn't happen thing worked fairly well, at least that's what Sirius told himself. Whenever he caught himself thinking about it,  he immediately exchanged Remus with Marlene in his head. Kissing Marlene would probably be nicer, right? Or when he found himself staring at Remus' beautiful face in class or during the meals, he looked away and stared at her instead and she was beautiful, too. When he thought about Remus for a little too long, he reminded himself that it was her he should be dreaming about, he was supposed to like her.

He tried telling himself that so much, that he was sure it had worked. By the next Wednesday he was able to act normal around Remus again. Right? At least he didn't stutter anymore when talking to him.

The only flaw in his perfect plan was James.

"You talked to him about it, right?", he asked Sirius when they shared a moment alone during classes.