In Order to Love Chaos, You must Understand Him

Hanabi: I was Given Permission to Touch

It seems that every village she has ever lived in burned whenever she seemed to touch it intimately. When you have to settle into a place, you have to get to know it. So many times - every time she ever got to know it, it would burn not long after. Was she hated, cursed, or something else? The first fire took the people she had, the second one took any other sentimental possessions she held, the third took whatever else she had. This fourth one, she thinks as she looks at the fire with pain knowing the water from her eyes wouldn't stop this one, what else could it possibly take?

Over her pivotal growing years, she could not seem to match the height of fire as it burned mercilessly whatever home she tried to cultivate. Then she realized she was. She was slowly reaching its height with the accumulating pain of losing so much. What else can match hatred but hatred? Fighting fire with fire in the most basic terms. 

'Why did I never let it consume me? Why didn't I just give in after a while and turn to ash? Why did I still want to keep fighting?' were questions she was unable to answer. All she could do was answer with more questions, 'Is it because I want something? Is it because I desire something true in the end? If I do, then what is it?'

It's a sad reality that a flower who blooms by herself does not know that they thrive better with the right care. Even a single flower can still bloom fully. She knew she needed that care, but still it didn't seem to make sense. Water... Her tears flowed. Dirt... Her body grew. Leaves... Her knowledge always reaching new heights. Roots... Always being replotted when needed. Sunlight... She got by with the help of her village. 'What else,' she thought. It's true. Everything needed for a flower to bloom was there. There isn't anything else. So why does she not live still?

For once, she will learn that not everything is about being necessary. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a want. It's fine for a flower to want love and care, for without the proper protection, even the elements can ruin a single flower. Who could protect her from that fire? No, that is not the right question. Who can help her adapt to the fire - be able to turn a flower of earth into a firework? 

She never once knew this is what she wanted - to be who she was truly meant to be. She never prayed to a single god - Japanese, Greek, or otherwise. She did not scream or grieve for love or self-love. Nevertheless, a god will always know their child and give them what they deserve. "You have never been a flower of the earth, the wind, nor the water. You are mine. I will show you another who bloomed the way they were supposed to in the fire." This God of Fire heard so many questions that were not in the right direction. "Stop asking these questions," he wanted to tell her, "I will show you the answer, so you can then understand what the true question you were supposed to ask was."

Flames best dance with other flames. They are not reflections of each other. They are simply compatible for each other. The greater the fire, the greater the damage, the harder it is to put out.

The God of fire laid his demand in fire for the fourth time, "Do not deny me. I will not hurt you, so long as you accept me wholeheartedly. I will give you oil so that his fire can spark yours and make his larger."

This fourth fire was not to take anything away from her. It was supposed to move her to the right place, getting her closer to him. A blessing hidden in the flames. She was never to touch the places - the earth - she lived in. She was always meant to touch the flames - they were the ones who wanted the intimacy. 

***

I trained so many years to be able to protect myself in any case. I trained to increase my pain tolerance, my fighting skills, my strength, even my intelligence in all my free time that I had. Staying up lates, during my breaks, and any other time I could find. It made me a desirable employee, so I took on as many jobs as I could to sustain myself and it also aided in increasing stamina and other things. There has never really been a sense of peace within or around me, so I decided to do my best to be able to survive and help others survive if I could too. 

Right now, I'm working at a weapons shop. I help take care or rebuild any old weapons. I'm one of the few skilled workers here when it comes to that, so I spend more time here than at the other jobs. As I was cleaning the desk, I heard a few screams and loud gasps outside and hurried footsteps.

"What happened," I ask to myself as I take a look outside. 

There's a man. He hasn't caused any commotion, yet they all decided to stay away from him simply just walking here. He doesn't look familiar at all..., so why is everyone scared of him? I haven't seen him come around here at all. He's walking to the store! I better get to my station!

"Hello, how may I be of service?"

"I'm looking to get a new kusarigama. I want to see your collection."

"Of course! They're right over here."

"Take them out. I want to look at them personally."

"Sure. Here they are."

He seems very straightforward and blunt, but his voice doesn't exactly sound aggressive either. What a mysterious guy.

"I'll take this one."

"Alright then. Who is this for?"

"Hm? ...Kotaro Fuma," he says with a micro smile and narrow eyes. 

"I'll go ahead and wrap this up."

"I'll just take it as it is. Here's the cash. ...Do you not know who I am?"

"Uh, n-no. Am I supposed to?"

"Tell me. What do you feel at my presence right now?"

"Um, fine? Like normal?"

"Normal? State who you are for you to see me as normal."

"I'm just a regular person who works like any other. Granted, I do work a little harder to compensate for myself and give some others some help if they need it."

"Hard worker, huh? I can't say I can just believe that if you feel fine while looking at me. There'll be a day when I take you by the throat or by the hand or by the foot, and I'll see how 'normal' you react."

"Did you just threaten me?!"

"Does that scare you?"

"No, I can handle myself even with someone like you!"

"Handle ME," he laughs. "I came here for just a weapon, but I might just drop by sometime soon. Maybe even tomorrow. We'll see how well you can 'handle' me then," he smirks as he leaves the shop.

More frightened gasps are heard as he goes back out and heads back his way.

Who the hell was that supposed to be? Is he going back to attack me? So, I should be prepared... First, I have to ask around who he was. Get intel first. Why was everyone so scared..?

Side Note - (I'm not going to switch POVs, and yours will be the main one. Instead, I'm going to use narration to get both sides better and with more insight without having to do limited inner/outer dialogue for either of them. The narrator will be in italics.)