Part Ten

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Dear Matthias,

Hello, Matthias. It's Emil, Lukas' brother. I have received all of your letters over the past years. I am very sorry about everything that has happened. I have wanting to inform you of something since your first letter arrived to my P.O. Box in Iceland. I had every intention to clear things up right away but Berwald and Tino encouraged me otherwise. They did not want you to do anything rash, as Lukas had done. I should probably start from the beginning.

It was right after we moved to Iceland and Lukas has become very depressed. We all went to work our several jobs and I began to notice several differences in Lukas' behavior. But only had he shown signs of depression but he didn't talk at all and skipped his jobs. It was very hard for me to pay for bills, feed myself and Lukas, and go to my two jobs all at once. It was then about a week into moving that I had gotten home from work. Lukas was not in his usual place on the couch and I became worried. With one lap around the whole apartment, I had found Lukas dead on the bathroom floor. Of course, I was shocked. I had to bury Lukas by himself and clean up after what had happened. Berwald and Tino had contributed money for his funeral. I was great full but I had to no money to fly back to America and did not have the heart to inform you, Matthias, of the tragedy. I am very sorry for all the pain I have caused of not answering your letters.

I am sorry for your depression I had sent you into but you should know that Lukas is now in a better place. He does not have to worry about anything in this world. I also want to inform you that he knows you are sorry. He talked about you constantly before he went selectively mute.

Lukas had always talked about wanting to go to a better place. I always thought he meant moving, but he had something else in mind.

I would love to meet you, Matthias, and see you once again. I also want to meet Peter and see Tino and Berwald once again. I will send back all the letters you have sent to Lukas. Once again, I'm very sorry, Matthias.

Sincerely,
Emil Steilsson

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