I'll be the Bad Guy

Chapter 38: Violins and Angels

[TW: SUICIDE/DRUGS]

Clarke's POV-

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

Oppenheimer was a favorite of my fathers, and therefore of mine too. The quote had always stuck with me.

On the Ark, I'd mock the quote with Wells whenever I'd beat him in a chess game. It was rare, but I'd make my victory known as I shouted down the halls and let the famous phrase slide off my tongue at Wells' expense.

Now, I sit alone under a sky full of stars wondering if my hands would be stained for eternity. Red. Red for the blood of the ones I murdered in Mount Weather. It weighed heavy on my heart, numbing my blackened soul with every borrowed breath I take.

I play with the soil I lay on, embedded with life and the fresh scent of earth. It was all we ever wanted. To be on the ground. It was all the mountain men wanted too. So why am I here, and they aren't?

The need to survive. The means to conquer death. The will to destroy a world. That's why.

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It's almost 4 in the morning by the time we make it back to Arkadia. Jasper has yet to look away from the ground, barely taking the energy to blink as his salty tears water the earth he treks on.

I'd taken Maya from him, one of the only people he loved.

"Hey." Bellamy says, speeding up to catch me as we near the gates.

"Can we talk before you go to sleep?"

"Yeah... of course. I need to talk to my mom too."

Bellamy gives a satisfied nod before patting me on the shoulder, looking down on me as if I was a sick puppy.

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Abby's POV-

I push past the forming crowd of onlookers as we watch the kids and others approach the gates.

I run past the dark metal gates and into the treacherous night towards the group, searching the mass for blond hair. For Clarke.

Finally, I see her and collide my body into hers, hugging her tighter than I ever imagined possible.

I cling to her weakened body with every ounce of muscle I possess. I hold her until the group of people have long marched passed us and it is just the two of us that remain beyond the gates.

"Mom?" Clarke whimpers.

"Yes, baby?" I respond, voice muffled as I hold my head in the crease of her neck.

"The blood."

"Blood?"

"It's on your shirt now."

I finally pull away to examine my shirt. It's a grey, long sleeve t-shirt that appears to be perfectly clean, even after hugging Clarke.

"It looks fine to me."

"No. No. No. It- It's on you. There's blood." She insists as her voice breaks.

"Let's get you inside sweetie." I say, ushering her through the gates and into the doors of the grounded Ark.

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Monty's POV-

"Jasper?" I speak, knocking gently on his door.

I wait a few moments before knocking again, this time louder.

"Jasper? It's Monty." I repeat.

After being met with more prolonged silence, I carefully open his door.