March 11th 2009
As I slowly opened my eyes, the piercing agony in my head immediately greeted me with an unwelcome intensity. It felt as if a thousand hammers were relentlessly pounding against the delicate walls of my skull. The pulsating waves of pain radiated through my temples, causing my eyelids to flutter involuntarily. The mere act of blinking sent shockwaves of discomfort coursing through my entire being. Every ray of sunlight piercing through the curtains intensified the torment, making me instinctively retreat further into the comforting darkness of my room. With each breath, I could sense the throbbing ache amplifying, leaving me trapped in a hazy fog of torment. It was a morning marred by an unwelcome companion, a stinging migraine, dictating the terms of my day before it even began.
I decided to tough it out and went to shower. Me and Jessica are going on a date, This is the first time going out in my 27 years living. I picked her up and we went to a nearby Cafe. Then chitchatted for a bit. Then it hit me again. The agonizing pain coursing through my head. Jessica's voice slowly faded away. All I could here was this stinging ringing noise. Not moments after I passed out.
I woke up, in a hospital. Then the doctor came in.
"Joel, I'm gonna be straightforward. You have stage three brain cancer. If I'm not wrong it's from the years of drug abuse and excessive drinking"
I sat there in agony. My life is starting to get better. I'm dating the woman of my dreams. Now that everything's going smoothly GOD just had to FUCKING ruin it for me.
Jessica came in and asked me what happened. I said it's from lack of sleep and that she needn't worry about me. Then we both went home. Grabbed a cold one and sat silently contemplating my life decisions. Have god really forsaken me. In the depths of my anguish and despair, I find myself consumed by a profound hatred towards the divine entity I once believed in. I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of betrayal, as if God himself has forsaken me, leaving me to navigate this treacherous journey alone. The trials and tribulations that have befallen me seem unjust and cruel, as if I am but a pawn in a cosmic game, destined to suffer endlessly. I question why a benevolent and all-powerful deity would allow such pain and sorrow to infiltrate my life. It feels as though I have been abandoned in my darkest hour, left to grapple with my demons without guidance or solace. This resentment burns within me, fueling a bitter rage that threatens to consume any remnants of faith I once held. I am left to wrestle with the torment of feeling forsaken, longing for answers that may never come.
