Story's on archive so you can read here (chapters)

To all the pastas ive loved before chap 1

I've liked Toby since Masky even knew he existed. If I had it my way, he would be with me. But I was too late, Masky & Toby started dating before I could make a move.

I wasn't angry, but I couldn't do much now. All I could do was write Toby a love letter. I didn't send it to him, I kept it to myself. I poured out my heart on that sheet of paper like a love sick school girl. Part of me wondered what it would have been like to really give him that letter. I wonder what would have happened then...

There are five letters total, all to different boys I've liked before. I hide them in a special place where I'm almost certain no one will ever find them. I can't let anyone know I'm gay, let alone I'm head over heals for my fellow pastas.

The letters for all my different crushes. Helen Otis, Jeffery Woods, Eyeless Jack, Lost Silver & of course, Toby Rodgers.

I wrote the letters when my feelings were so intense, I didn't know what to do. They're all stupid in my honest opinion, but sometimes being stupid can be fun. As long as nobody else finds out about it.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard a knock at the door. I spun around on my chair & replied. "Come in" I called out, watching as the door opened.

I was surprised to see Jeff rush in, closing the door & locking it behind him. "Door's unlocked, huh? That's new" he commented. Despite his cocky attitude, I could tell he was shaken up.

Yes, Jeff. As in Jeffery Woods, one of my previous crushes. We didn't talk much since he got busy with killing more than usual.

"That's suspicious" I replied, nodding to the now locked door.

He rolled his eyes before pressing a finger to his lips to shush me.

"Jeffy!" From the other side of the door, I could hear a girl's voice.

I thought for a moment before giving Jeff a questioning glance. "Nina?" I whispered.

He nodded, not saying a word.

I rolled my eyes, turning back around in my chair. I switched on my computer, planning to play some games & just ignore Jeff until Nina stopped searching for him. I didn't really mind him being in my room as long as he stayed quiet & didn't touch anything.

Unfortunately, he did the opposite. He came up behind me, leaning against my chair as if to watch me play games. I held back a sigh, searching through my games.

I then heard him move. "What's in here?" He asked. When I glanced over, he was fidgeting with my locked drawer built into my desk.

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, that was the drawer I kept my love letters in. Without thinking, I raised my foot & stomped on his hand. "Don't touch that!" I scolded.

He let out a small yelp in pain & glared at me. The glare was followed by a smirk. "Why, are you hiding your porn mags in there?" He teased.

My face was bright red, but I decided admitting to having a porn stash was much more prideful than admitting to having love letters kept from years of crushes. Not only that, but one was addressed to Jeff himself. "Yeah, you got me. I have some crazy hentai manga in there" I shrugged.

Jeff pulled his hand out from under my foot finally. "Oh gross" He mumbled. He finally dropped the intent to open the drawer & lay down on my bed like he lived there.

I rolled my eyes, turning back to my computer screen. I finally chose a game & started to play it, ignoring Jeff's sighs of boredom.

I didn't get to play much of my game as I heard another knock at the door. I paused my game & glanced to the door behind me. Jeff sat up & held his breath, probably hoping it wasn't Nina.

To his luck, it was just Sally. "Me & Clockwork made dinner, Ben!" She called happily.

I couldn't help but smile at her voice. "Alright, we- uh, I'll be down in a second" I called back. I looked over to Jeff as I stood up. I waited until I heard Sally's footsteps fade before speaking. "Are you coming or do you wanna camp out in my room?"

Jeff frowned, laying back on his bed. "There's no way I'm going out there while Nina's around. Just bring me something up".

I regretted giving him the option but I had no reason to kick him out. "Okay, see ya" I unlocked the door & left my room.

I made my way downstairs & into the kitchen. I noticed Nina trying to pick the lock to Jeff's room as I passed but I decided to ignore her. Just because I was hiding Jeff didn't mean I had to stop his stalker from stealing his underwear.

Once I got to the kitchen, a few of the others were already there. Masky, Hoodie, Toby, Clockwork, Jane, Eyeless Jack & of course, Sally.

I sat down beside Toby, he seemed happy to see me. "Hey Ben, I haven't seen you in days" he chuckled, pulling his mouthguard down so he could eat.

I didn't leave my room very often, I preferred video games over people. "Yeah, I've been busy" I shrugged with a small smile.

During dinner, I couldn't help but glance toward Toby every so often. I didn't even notice when some of the others left.

Toby left once Masky had finished, leaving me the last one to eat. Although I had strong feelings for Toby, he was clearly very happy with Masky. & I was happy for them.

Once I finished my food, I took my plate to the sink & began to wash it. I normally wouldn't do this, but I thought of it as a 'thank you' to Sally & Clockwork for cooking.

"Geez, you eat so slow" I jumped a little & spun around to face Jeff. He was picking at the left overs & eating what he wanted.

I let out a small laugh. "Sorry, I got distracted" was all I said, turning back to dry the plate.

"By what?" He asked, but I didn't reply. I put my plate away & left the kitchen.

As I began to walk upstairs, I saw Sally run past my room. The door was open, I assumed it was Jeff being careless.

I didn't get the chance to ask her why she was running since she ran right to her room. I shrugged to myself & went to my own room. I lay down on my bed & decided to have a nap, maybe I could play games when I woke up around 1am. That would give me a good 5 hour nap.