Hidden Feelings

Chapter 2: What to do

It had been an hour since First made his discovery about his attraction to his best friend. Overwhelmed by the fact that he had no idea what to do, he closed his eyes while continuing to drown in his sorrows. A feeling of hopelessness began to hit him. It was too late to stop the tears from flowing at this point. Fears of Khao not accepting his feelings grew the more First dwelled in his thoughts.

That's when the door opens up and two familiar figures make their way into the room: it was Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap. They were First and Khao's roommates for the Outing. At this moment, First looked noticeably disheveled. His hair was a mess and the redness of his eyes made it obvious he was crying. He didn't want the two to ask any questions as he wasn't sure how to respond so he quickly turned his back away from the door, lying closer to the window. He pretended to be asleep to avoid suspicion. Earth and Mix left the lights off so as not to disturb First and walked inside to sit down on the bed closest to the door.

"Don't you find it interesting?" Questioned Earth.

"What?" Mix responded.

"Khao and Gun couldn't keep off of each other all night." Earth replied.

"Well it's obvious isn't it?" Mix playfully questioned.

"What's obvious?" Earth asked. His curiosity grew while his patience was quickly shrinking.

"The fact that Khao obviously likes Gun."

"You're joking. I thought he liked Nong Fir-" Earth nearly finished his sentence but was quickly hushed by the younger individual. Mix put his index finger to his lip and pointed at First, silently telling him to be quiet immediately.

"Yeah, I thought that too until I saw the way they were looking at each other tonight. Then I realized that maybe he sees HIM as just a friend." Mix claimed

"HIM...just a friend...as in me?!" First was now internally screaming from embarrassment.

Then Earth brought up an interesting detail that happened earlier that night, "I can't say for certain whether or not that's true but I do recall overhearing Khao talking to Phuwin earlier about having difficulty figuring out the 'right time' to confess his feelings for 'them'. I don't know who this person he was talking about is but it sounded like he really likes them."

"Khao likes someone? He never told me about this." First felt a little hurt that his best friend relied more on Phuwin than him when it came to discussing this particular topic. He briefly thought about this allegation a little while longer until he heard a creaking sound. Earth and Mix stopped their conversation once they heard the door to the hotel room swing open. This time, it was Khao who opened it. Clearly intoxicated, he wobbled while working his way into the room and headed over to the bed where First was sleeping. Hopping into the bed and under the covers, he squeezes behind First, placing his face directly into the empty space between First's neck and the pillow, making the taller individual flinch in surprise.

On the other side of the bed, First was freaking out. His heart was thumping so loud that it was almost all he could hear until a faint voice whispered behind him, "you looked so lovely tonight." First loved listening to Khao's voice. It was warm and inviting like a kiss from a lover and soft like making a wish on a dandelion. Usually, he enjoys hearing sweet words from Khao but this time, it felt different. It felt like hope, hope for something more, until he heard Mix laughing quietly. That's when those feelings of hope instantly turned to disappointment.

"Haha. He thinks First is Gun, that's so cute."

Right. The person Khao has shown noticeable interest in was Gun, not First. This realization became more and more clear throughout the night. It was this last statement from Mix, however, that finally solidified in First's mind that if there is someone in Khao's heart, it most likely isn't him. First started to feel guilty because he recognized that Khao didn't realize who he was actually hugging at the moment. He also grew concerned as he felt his shirt becoming saturated from what he could only guess was saliva. Khao was most likely drooling on his shirt at the moment but First dared not to look, in fear of revealing his true state of mind to Earth and Mix. This was going to be a tough night of sleep for First.

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First didn't get a wink of sleep that night. It was now the second day of the company event. The sun was peering through the window and directly burning First's now puffy and sensitive eyes. As he got up to get ready for the day, he looked to his left to see his best friend snuggled up close to him. Trying hard not to wake him, he lightly separated himself from the younger individual. Stepping out of the shared bed, he tried to shake off any thoughts about how cute Khao looked and got dressed for the day. Walking out of the hotel room and into the massive hallway, he spotted Neo and Louis departing from the opened door on his left. The three individuals made eye contact with each other and said their morning greetings while heading downstairs to get breakfast together.

Sitting down at the same table with their food, Neo asked First, "wow, you must've had a wild night. Your eyes look like puffy peaches."

"Yeah, things got a little...intense," said First.

"I thought I saw you leaving pretty early in the night. Did you really get that wasted so fast?" Questioned Louis.

"I guess so...I had a lot on my mind last night and...I made some new discoveries that I can't really seem to wrap my head around." First replied.

Hey...are things alright? Just what were you thinking so deeply about that's got you feeling down?" asked Neo.

First paused for a moment, struggling to find the correct phrasing. He wanted to make sure he could explain his thoughts in a way that was understandable for his friends without going too far into detail. Taking a few more moments to think, he tells Neo and Louis what happened the night before.

"Have you ever thought about your relationship with someone and then out of nowhere you realized you see them differently?" First questioned.

"Do you mean to say you no longer want to be friends with them?" Neo responded.

"Quite the opposite." Said First.

You're in love with someone?" asked Neo.

"Falling in love with a friend can be quite tricky." Louis commented.

"That's why I'm asking for your help. What should I do?" First said, suddenly panicking.

There was a moment of silence between the trio. Neo reclined back in his seat and held his fist under his chin while thinking deeply about First's question. After further reflection, he looked back up at First. "There's only two options at this point. You need to either tell them how you feel or bottle up your feelings and hope they never notice," said Neo. This is going to be an unbearably tricky task for First.