To Catch Stars

Betelgeuse

I'm sure the best name for my focus on him would be obsession, and after going home for Christmas, I lost sight of what I was obsessed over.

It made my brain flicker back on after awhile of being off, it made my doubts and worries run in circles behind my eyes.

I couldn't focus, I couldn't sleep, and not being awake in the real world, always came with consequences.

When I return to my common room from
Winter break, all my other Ravenclaw house mates are chatting and laughing together.

They look up and say hello as I enter, but when they notice the sullen expression on
my face they immediately turn around again to continue their conversation. As usual.

One girl, however, seems to notice your expression. "Is something wrong?" She asks you softly. "Are you okay?"

Even after mulling over the others reactions hers made me want to claw her eyes out. Cause it was so pitiful it was sad.

I ignored her and go to my room closing the door behind me. Leaning against that door felt like a million bricks leaving my shoulders.

It felt safe, and I could finally just relax, well until I had to go on patrols again, to see the obsession I couldnt stand to look at anymore.

Realizing how insane I had to be, how insane I was to even look at him as I did, the cruel unhinged Slytherin Boy, but I couldn't avoid him.

Not unless he wanted to avoid me, and I had a feeling he didn't want to avoid me at all, not until he was finished picking me apart in every possible way.

Thankfully my patrols were laid nicely on my bed. I didn't even have to lift a finger.

I'm assigned another late night patrol, and this time, my route takes me past the same window where I had spoken with Riddle.

As I turn the corner into the empty hallway, that familiar feeling of discomfort washes over me again and I feel Riddles eyes watching me from somewhere in the shadows.

When I look for him, he isn't there. I wonder if perhaps he was only my imagination, for I thought I had heard his voice...

But I know that it wasn't my imagination. Riddle will soon speak to me again, and I have a feeling that he won't be so kind this time.

Circling back to my usual window I peak around for his usual looming figure. I sit at my usual spot staring up my eyes drawn to the little specs in the sky.

I take a minute my back against the wall and my eyes gazing up at the stars, my heart breaking underneath the weight of wanting to see him again, even though I knew it was wrong.

For the first time in my life, I wonder what it would be like to have someone to share my pain, and the overwhelming urge to speak with someone about the burden washes over me like a wave.

But who is there - who would understand and comfort me? I feel desperate and alone, as if I were sitting alone on the edge of the universe.

It was just as terrible as when I started catching stars. I reach up wanting to snatch a star from the sky, wanting to make something feel as I do. Alone and isolated.

As I sit there, my hands stretched toward the sky, I see something out of the corner of my eye. A shadowy figure in the corner of the hallway, watching me closely.

Suddenly, a voice comes from the shadows. "Be careful how you touch stars,"

Even though I cannot see his face, I instantly recognize his voice. It was Riddle, standing at the end of the hallway, just out of sight.

"I've heard that they're very hot, that you might just burn up if you try to grasp them with your bare hands."

My hands fall as I look over."Maybe I want to burn up."

"I've wanted to burn up, once," He replies, and I see him take a few steps closer to me. "There have been a number of times I wished for the pain to stop, the sadness to end. But burning up would be a miserable way to die. Even I could stand that pain."

He pauses, and you hear genuine sympathy in his voice. "I can understand wanting it to stop. Sometimes this world can be unbearably cruel, and it can make it seem like there's only misery and sorrow, no happiness. But I swear to you that things will get better."

"So am I to believe you on this? Or are we reveling on the pain together? You are rather nosey as to how I spend my time with the stars."

He seems taken aback by my words, and he raises his eyebrows at me playfully. "Perhaps I may be, on occasion. But don't you think anyone who cares about another person would be curious enough to want to know about their feelings or what makes them tick? It's only natural to be curious, after all. I would be curious about anyone I was able to speak with, and I care about you more than any of the people you're referring to."

He pauses, his voice serious. "May I ask *you* something?" He pauses. "Why do you push people away?"

My whole body seemed to tense when he asked. Should I dump all of my Star stories on him fishing for Pity?

No, I would rather not dig up the ashes of that stupid journal, even if its stored in the back of my mind being read out like a children's story book.

"Why do you push people away?" I question back at him, it's better to sate my own curiosity then feed into someone else's.

He dosen't back down even when his face seems to contort into a displeased look, as if he didn't want to tell me, but he did anyway.

"I push people away because I fear that they'll hurt me. I've been hurt many times in the past, and I am scared that it may happen again. It is hard to let myself become vulnerable around anyone, when I don't know who I can trust."

He pauses, his voice turning from it's forced tone to a soft one, one I wasn't expecting. "And when I see you... I feel like I want to be vulnerable with you. But I don't want to hurt you."

He looks away from you, his voice now shaking slightly. "Do you understand my fear?"

I did, but being hurt somewhat appealed to me, physically and mentally I kept begging for pain, even if It hurt me worse than anything I had ever felt before.

I liked the pain.

(End of Preview. If you liked this please comment, I plan to release this book a few weeks before the sequel to Brains, which I know has been asked for a lot, so showing love to this book would mean a lot to me and give me a little push to finish the sequel to Brains! Thank you all for you patience. <3)