The angel I ruined. (Castiel x male reader OC |NSFW|)

Chapter 14: "Cold Beers And Troubled Souls""

I woke up feeling a little hungover from yesterday. How many more days will I have to wait for them to pass? I'm tired of living in other people's lives; it feels like my own life is a burden.

And my words sound shallow and go unheard. They would sound better coming from someone else, but if I don't express myself, how will I be known?

I'll never be enough for myself; people are afraid of others, but I have failed myself, and that's even worse. There is a voice that I can't satisfy at all, a voice that screams at me when I'm alone. How can I please others when I'm feeling so lost?

I have no place to hide, no place to call my own. I was only taught to survive, not to live. My city feels empty, the streets seem foreign. In this perfect prison, my life is surrendered.

With every new sorrow, I take a sip of poison. And since I don't belong anywhere, I am fading away alone.

My days are empty; they all seem the same. I have no place to hide, no one to lean on. Like a puppet on a rope, I carry the burdens of the whole world's mistakes.

In order to escape my mind, I went to spend some time with my sister and my nephew. Every time I feel like a failure, spending time with him makes me forget about my pathetic life for a while. We played, ate, and took naps. Until my phone rang.

I was almost tempted to ignore the call, but that's not like me. I care. That's what my whole life is about-caring for others, helping everyone I can to give my life some value.

It was Dean. Thankfully, I wasn't needed at the hospital. I answered to see if something was wrong. Dean informed me that their hunt ended sooner than expected because the victim died of natural causes, and they had been misled into thinking it was something supernatural. He suggested we grab a drink, and since I had nothing better to do than stay and complain about my life, I accepted. Sam was resting in his hotel room, so it would be just Dean, Castiel, and me.

When I arrived at the bar, they were already waiting. They had ordered some beers, and I followed suit, ordering one for myself as well. Not long after we started a small talk, Dean's attention was drawn to a beautiful woman across the room. He left us and started talking to her. After what seemed like only fifteen minutes, Dean winked at us, implying that he was going to have some luck tonight, and he left, apologizing to us.

"Dean is an ass. He shouldn't leave us alone. He never can keep it in his pants when he sees an attractive woman if you know what I mean." I said with a look of irritation.

Castiel replied with his deep gravely voice that I have started to enjoy to be honest.
"Dean is not a bad person. He knows right from wrong, and he always tries to do what is best for the people he cares about. But he does have a weakness for beautiful women. I'm sure he didn't intend to leave us alone on purpose."

"Yes I know, Sam and Dean are very lucky in these circumstances." I smirked.

"Humans are always so impulsive.
I'm sure he is a good man underneath those surface flaws. I appreciate his desire to find a partner." He replied looking at me with a more intense gaze than before, and slightly narrowing his eyes.

"Oh trust me I don't believe Dean is looking for a partner. You know he is a one night stand type of guy." I rolled my eyes. It's really naive to give Dean the benefit of a doubt. It's Dean after all. We all know Dean is a womaniser.

"Some might even say he's a dog." Castiel gave me a smile and I was totally stunned by his reply.

"W-what?" I paused. "Where did you hear that expression?" I stuttered. I would never have expected such a reply from Castiel.

"I have picked up a few of your expressions, humans are fascinating." I could see him have his chest puffed out a little with pride as he spoke, and he gave a little nod to himself at the end.