𝗠𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹-𝗲-𝗠𝗮𝗵𝘁𝗮𝗮𝗯

حسرتِ عشق ۹۔

بس ایک جھجک ہے یہی حالِ دل سنانے میں
کہ تیرا ذکر آئے گا اس فسانے میں~

(Bas ek jhijhak hai yehi haal-e-dil sunane mein
Ke tera zikr aayega is fasane mein)

Everyone was sleeping in Haider Villa except him.
Why does this heart expect so many things from the person it loves?
Why can't it understand that it is not always that feelings are reciprocated?
He had witnessed her nikkah by himself, but he didn't know why he had this little hope in his heart that she mightn't get married.
Although this didn't make sense.
He had expected that a day would come when she would understand his love. A day would come when she'll reciprocate his feelings.
But now seeing her in her life all happy and contented, he felt envious.

It was his fourth cigarette of the day. He had never smoked, not even in those dreadful three years. But today he felt like smoking. The acrid smell of cigarettes, mixed with his perfume, made it difficult for anyone to breathe.
But he wasn't just anyone. He was Zaim Haider, whose everything finished three years back.

His finger swiped through his playlist and halted at this particular song.

اے دل کسی کی یاد میں
ہوتا ہے بے قرار کیوں؟
جس نے بھلا دیا تجھے
اس کا ہے انتظار کیوں؟

Ae dil kisi ki yaad mein
Hota hai beqarar kyu?
Jis ne bhulaa diya tujhe
Us ka hai intezar kyu?

(O heart, why do you become restless
In someone's memory?
The one who forgot you,
Why do you wait for them?)

How can a song match this perfectly with his situation?
Why did he wait for her when he knew there wouldn't be an end for them? Together!

وہ نہ مل سکے گا اب تجھے
جس کی تجھے تلاش ہے
راہوں میں آج بے کفن
تیری وفا کی لاش ہے
یہ تو ذرا بتا مجھے
تو نے کیا تھا پیار کیوں
 

Woh nah mil sakega ab tujhe
Jiski tujhe talaash hai
Raaho mein aaj beqafan
Teri wafa ki laash hai
Yeh toh zarra bata mujhe
Tu ne kiya tha pyaar kyu?

(He who you seek,
You won't find him now.
In the paths today, lifeless,
Is the corpse of your loyalty.
Tell me this,
Why did you love?)

He inhaled the cigarette sharply while listening to this stanza. He then puffed the cigarette twice.

آنسو جو ہیں رکے ہوئے
ہنس کے انہیں بہا بھی دے
جتنے ہیں داغ پیار کے
رو کر انہیں مٹا بھی دے
تو نے ہے پھر بنا لیا
غم کو گلے کا ہار کیوں؟
کیوں؟

Aansoo jo hain ruke hue
Hans ke inhen baha bi de
Jitne hain daag pyaar ke
Rou ke inhe mitaa bhi de
Tu ne hai phir bana liya
Gham ko gale ka haar kyu?
Kyu?

(The tears that are held back,
Let them flow with a smile.
As many scars there are from love,
Erase them by crying.
Why did you then make
Sorrow into a necklace to wear?
Why?)

Why?
This was a big question itself. This song felt heavy. Very heavy.
He could bear the pain in his heart, so he immediately stopped the song at the question itself! Why?