FERRY-LOVE-BOAT

Chapter 24

Carina's POV:

Maya took a big bite of toast and my eyebrows arched as I waited for her reaction and comment. When Maya closed her eyes and let out a sound completely unfair to my nerve endings - given that I shivered from head to toe - in a moan of delight, I knew I had made the right choice in having made that French toast that morning.

-Okay, this is probably the best thing I've ever tasted! - She said, her mouth still partially full.

-Really? - I asked and drank some of my juice. - Good to know.

-You could become my favorite flavor, you know. You'd just have to let me taste you. - She gave me a little wink and cracked a smile, not even blushing at her own cheeky remark.

-In your dreams, Maya! - I teased back, letting out a giggle, but secretly loving hearing that kind of comment from her. It made me feel wanted, made me feel like a woman again, not just a doctor, or a sister, or a friend.

-In my dreams, things are even better! And there are a lot less clothes involved! - She continued the teasing, and I couldn't hold back my laughter.

-I guess all the alcohol consumed yesterday is taking effect today. It's too early for that kind of comment. - I tried to have another bite of the toast in my hand, it really was good.

-Does that mean that I'm winning? - She asked back.

-Never. - I squinted my eyes at her, trying to look as threatening as possible, but it was impossible not to smile at Maya watching her laugh, throwing her head back, her blonde hair brushing even lower down her back.

I don't think I've ever wanted to kiss her as much as I wanted to right now. There, at that very moment, interrupting her laughter, taking that spontaneous moment of hers for myself, holding her face and whispering how beautiful she was when she laughed like that.

-What's wrong? - She asked and brought me back to reality.

-What?

-You're looking at me in a funny way.- She finally blushed for the first time that morning, and it was adorable.

-No, I'm not. - I lied.

-Yes, you are. - She rolled her eyes. - But tell me, what was it like growing up in Italy?

-When I was little, so good. When my mother moved here with Andrea, quite lonely. - I confessed, averting my eyes from her face because staring into those blue orbs was too intimidating.

-Did you stay with your father? - She asked.

-I had to stay with my father. - I explained, still looking at the little bit of juice left in my glass. - My mother wanted to protect Andrea, he was always very... Instable?

-Unstable. - She corrected me softly.

-Unstable. - I repeated, trying to imprint in my mind one more word that confused me in English. - Living with him, by myself, took a lot out of my emotions. It took me a long time to realize how abusive he could be to me, belittling me and judging every decision I made, and in the beginning you forget. In the beginning, I always repeated to myself that he was my father, that it was my duty to understand, but after much therapy and many nights of crying I realized that giving in to him implied in letting him hurt and mistreat me too much.

I didn't notice the moment I started to cry, I didn't sob or shake, I just let the tears run down my cheeks while I kept my head down.

-What do you need right now? - Maya asked me and I lifted my face to look at her; I think there was enough confusion on my face that she understood it as a silent request for an explanation. - Do you want me to comment on it? Do you want a hug? Because I want to hug you, but I don't know if that's what you want.

-You can hug me. - I nodded with a discreet smile, realizing that with each conversation I was discovering more and more about Maya. I don't think anyone has ever taken this approach with me before, of asking what I needed, putting my needs first.

Maya crawled up beside me and opened her arms for me to lean into her embrace. Her strong arms were a comforting shelter in which I felt safe - to talk, to express myself, to cry. She stroked my back tenderly, planted delicate kisses on my shoulder, and kept me pressed against her body in just the right measure.

-I would never take you for a hugger. - I whispered, letting out a low chuckle.

-I'm not. - She replied. - You awaken parts of me that scare me. Sometimes I'm afraid of the influence you have on me, because there are some things that are so dormant and not part of my everyday life, that when they come to the surface I don't know how to deal with them.

-Am I pushing you? Or making you uncomfortable? - I asked, startled, and gently pulled away from her hug, creasing my forehead at her comment.

-No, never. - She was quick to respond. - I don't think getting to know other parts of myself is something negative, it's just scary, you know?

Maya smoothed my arms a few times before bringing both hands to the back of my neck, making my heart flutter and my stomach churn nervously.

-You're making me better. - She spoke, looking into my eyes. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. - It's not your job to do this, it's mine. So, thank you for doing this.

-You're welcome. - I whispered, still looking into her eyes.

Maya continued to stare at me, a small smile on her lips, then she moved closer and kissed me on the forehead.

Although the destination was different from the one I so desperately wanted, I felt that that kiss said a whole lot, there was a lot of gratitude there and that was good. It made me feel a little more important in her life, not so replaceable, I wanted to keep impacting Maya's life in that profound way.