How could you? (Third book in Life series)

Toxic

I couldn't believe it. How could he do this to me. I didn't sleep an ounce due to over thinking.

I stood there and buttered my toast as I heard Chris coming down the stairs. I turned around and drank my orange juice trying avoid him as much as I could. "Morning Shel". His words sickened me.... Or maybe it was the orange juice. No it was the orange juice. I tossed my head in the sink and threw up the orange juice. Chris grabbed my hair and lifted it out of my face as he rubbed my back. I quickly pushed him away after I was done puking. "Shell come on, can't we just start over? I'm sorry about our fight. Just let me help". I glared at him as I wiped my mouth. "We are always starting over but never fucking getting anywhere. And help me? How can you help me. You haven't even been here for me". He has dropped as I walked passed him he tried to grab my wrist but I ripped it out of his grip as I walked out the door.

~*~

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Never did I think I would be here. The door opened and quickly the smile was wiped off her face as she saw me. She tried to slam the door on me but I stopped it. "Megan please. I really need to talk to you. I think you owe me that much since your not in jail". She glared at me and opened the door but her expression changed when she saw my belly. I don't know if she was sad or if it was pitty.

"Why are you here?". "I just came to ask you a question and once I get my answer I'll be on my way. Did you sleep with Chris when he was on tour". she sighed and nodded. "Well given your track recorded I can't trust you so I need proof. Text him off your phone and bring it up some how". "Alright."

- Chris I would like to talk about what happened a couple weeks ago.

It took a minute before he responded and my stomach felt sick already

Chris- well I don't and I think you should just let it go.

- I can't. I'm sorry. But I need you again. I really do Chris.

Chris - well you better toss that idea right out the window. Megan I don't want you to flip your lid but I don't have feelings for you and I regret that we slept together. It fucking haunts me. I made a huge mistake pulling you into the bus. It was just a build up of stress that I needed to get rid of and I did but that wasn't the way I should have. Please do not ever text me again.

She looked at her phone almost disheartened. "I'm sorry. I really am. For everything. At least I don't have to deal with him. You do though and I'm sorry I fucked up what could have been great for you". I sighed as I stood up. "I'm not mad at you and I forgive you".

~*~

In some twisted way I'm sure Chris led her on to. Probably before meeting me but still.

I stood at the door and prepared myself for tge worst. This was going to hurt. I could feel it in my chest already.

I walked threw the door to see Chris rolling around and playing with Rex. I shut the door softly as he looked up at me and smiled. "Hi". My voice a crackled whisper almost. "Hello". I took a deep breath. "Do you have something to tell me? Anything you want to get off your chest?". He looked up and shook his head as he continued to play with Rex. "How about having sex with Megan on tour?".

He dropped the toy and all color drained from his face. He stood up and faced me. "Shelby how did you find out... Actually that doesn't matter. I did and I'm sorry. It just happened". "it doesn't just happen Chris! You didn't see me fuck someone else while you were gone. I was too busy growing your babies inside of me just counting the days till you came home and your balls deep in Megan!". I could see the tears form in his eyes. "Shelby listen to me please. I'm sorry. I was just losing it. I didn't know what to do. I was scared at everything being thrown at me so fast and when I bumped into her.. I used sex to help me forget. And I instantly regretted it. I broke down and cried. I hated myself". He closed the distance between us and he placed his forhead on mine. I felt the tears hit my cheek as I begged myself not to give into him. He held my face in his hands as his lips softly pressed against mine, perfectly in sync. That's what I've wanted but yet now it's everything I don't need.

"Shelby please say something". I pushed every feeling of pain and forgiveness into my gut to think clearly before speaking.

"I love you Chris"

His eyes lit up with hope and he smiled.

"... But I'm leaving you. I can't do this. I don't deserve to be hurt. And I can't trust you know. All of this is fucked. I cried many nights over you just wanting to be with you and if you look at it. I'm still not. You never made me your girlfriend but yet you break me and have a grip on me I can never shake out of... Until now".

He looked crushed. I started up the stairs to pack my stuff. As soon as I started packing it in the bag he burst threw the door and started taking my stuff out of my bag.

"No your not leaving me. You can't. I won't let you". "Chris I'm leaving one way or another, you can't stop me". He stopped and sat down on the bed. "I don't want to make you, I want you to stay on your own".

I finished packing as he sat on the end of the bed and watched me without another word. When I had finished packing my bag, I looked at him in state of numbness. I began to walk out when I turned and looked at him. He didn't look at me but I know how he felt and it broke my heart.

I walked over and kissed his cheek as he closed his eyes and cried. "Goodbye".

He didn't say anything or even open his eyes as I walked out of the house.

*******

Sorry for not updating for awhile but my phone broke with all my chapter for my books in it. I was pissed and stressed about writing them again so I took a break.
BUT

There is only one chapter left in this book!