Dire {h.s.}

14

Ava Manakova

If I ended my life right now, there would be many outcomes of my death. Louis and Harry would get rid of my body in whatever messed up way they know and move onto their next victim. My parents would never find me, and they'd never know if I was alive or not. That part breaks my heart the most, they don't deserve that.

But an outcome that makes me consider truly going through with it, is that I'd be free.

Ever since Harry caught me spying on his conversation with Louis through the door, my nerves haven't calmed down.

He's locked himself in the bathroom and hasn't come out since. I swear, I can still feel the sting of his eyes burning into mine after I was caught. He left me breathless of how afraid I was for him to lash out at me. But when he didn't, I was shocked. I couldn't believe it as the moment played right in front of me, Harry pulling himself together to not do something insane. Something that could hurt me even more than before.

The door opens, and Louis casually strolls inside, making sure to shut the door behind himself to keep the cold air out. He makes brief eye contact with me once before occupying himself with the second bed next to mine. Well, I think it's mine, I'm unsure of how we're doing the sleeping arrangements for tonight.

From the corner of my eye, I watch Louis slip out from his jacket and then his shirt. His back is to me, my eyes widen a bit at the muscle he has near his shoulder blades and along his arms. But the scene is taken away from me as he slips under the covers and dives his head into the pillow. I guess he gets the bed then.

What about Harry? Where will he sleep? There's no way he's sleeping in the same bed as I am, I'll take the floor if I have to.

For another hour, Harry spends it in the bathroom doing god knows what, meanwhile my eyes are starting to burn from watching the T.V. for so long, and I'm growing tired by the second. They thought I was asleep in the car, in which I was for most of the drive, but towards the end I wasn't. There's no good amount of rest I can get being in this situation. The feeling of being watched, plotted to be murdered, and not knowing what's happening behind my closed eyes, haunts me to a point where good sleep has become impossible to get. And if Harry ends up sleeping in this bed with me, there's no chance of catching a single ounce of sleep.

Speaking of the devil, I hear the bathroom door finally open and out walks Harry. He looks across the room at Louis, with his back turned to us. I don't know if he's asleep or just staring at the window, but from how long he's been in that position, I'm guessing he's asleep.

Harry rolls his eyes and starts to walk over to me around the bed. I instinctively begint to back away from the edge of the bed until my back meets the headboard. He notices my fear but keeps a blank face. I can bet he's enjoying it on the inside.

"Relax, I'm not going to touch you." He says. I still don't trust his words or him, and I don't think I ever will. "I'm not sleeping tonight, so don't even think about running out that door." He warns.

I say nothing, I have nothing to say, I'm afraid to speak in front of him now. I haven't said a word since he's caught me spying on his and Louis' conversation earlier.

He opens the drawer to the nightstand and looks over the inside of it. His hand reaches inside to grab ahold of a book, a bible to be more specific. Harry turns to the lamp on the nightstand and simply turns it off, making the room go dark with the exception of the moonlight peeking through the window. I'm too ashamed to admit defeat to it for the night.

Satisfied with the darkness, he turns on his heels and walks away from the bed, moving until he stops in front of a chair in the corner of the room. Harry takes a seat and begins to open the book. The silence is making this situation strange. His eyes slowly move up from the book to stare at me, almost through me. My eyes quickly avert his, and I immediately begin to slowly dive myself under the covers of this old bed to avoid his gaze, but I think that's what he's trying to do, control me. I shut my eyes, despite knowing it won't allow me to sleep. How can I fall asleep to the knowing fact that Harry is just staring at me. Maybe he's back to reading now, I won't know, I don't want to open my eyes again until I know for sure that he isn't watching me.