E I G H T (Book 1)

31. White

*JIEUN*

I don't know what to feel anymore.

Pakiramdam ko ay malulunod na ako sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. Feels like everything inside me hurts like hell. I wanted to scream my lungs out so the pain would disappear but even my voice doesn't want to cooperate.

I'm still alive but I know I'm on the edge.

Trying to survive.

Trying to hold it in.

I sighed heavily while waiting for an update with Yoongi's whereabouts. I've been on house arrest for 3 days since he left. Ayoko din naman umalis dito sa bahay dahil gusto kong ako mismo ang unang sasalubong sa asawa ko pagbalik nya.

I miss my husband.

I miss Yoongi so much..

So damn much that it hurts like hell without seeing him. It pains me not seeing him and not knowing where he is or what he's doing. Wala na akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magdasal na sana safe at bumalik na sya sakin. I feel so lost, broken and hurt. And I don't know what to emotion should I process or what emotion should I be.

Hindi ko na din alam papano nagagawang magfunction ng utak ko despite the fact that I can't even think straight. Marami akong dapat asikasuhin but I can't focus. I'm too drained and disturbed right now. That even my thoughts are unstable.

Then suddenly someone knocked. The door opened and Chen came in. "Nabawi na po nila ang mga magulang nyo.." She said that made my heart jumped in that instant.

"How are they? Are they alive? Are they?—"

"They're safe and secured, Younglady.."

"Can you bring me to them? I need to see the—"

"Not yet Younglady. But they're  in good hands.. nasa pangangalaga sila ng Grandmaster at Grandmistress.. So wala na po kayo dapat ipag-alala.." Chen explained. "We need to prioritize your safety first Younglady.."

I sighed in relief as I absorbed the good news Chen brought to me. "If my parents are safe, does that mean Yoongi's on his way home as well?"

Chen lift her head and stared at me with sadness in her eyes. "W-wala pa pong balita sa Youngmaster.."

It's already 2 in the morning pero hindi pa din ako makatulog. Nakahiga ako sa kama namin ni Yoongi. I'm staring at the other side of the bed while my fingers brushing gently the sheet. I really miss my husband. Namimiss ko na matulog kasama sya at makipagkwentuhan sa kanya bago kami magsleep. But what I missed the most is him being around me. His scent, his touch, his presence and his securing love. His love is my home. And without him, I feel so homeless and lost. As If my life doesn't have any direction. I can't even think about my future without him.

I sat at the bed and sobbed as I keep on remembering our happy memories. Kakaunti lang ang memories namin na masaya pero sapat na yun para kapitan ng puso kong nangungulila sa asawa ko. Kakapit ako dahil alam kong tunay at totoo ang pagmamahal namin sa isat isa ni Yoongi. And that love is enough for me to hold on, wait and endure to the end.

I am wiping my tears when my phone rang. Kasabay nun ang pagkatok ni Chen sa pintuan ng kwarto ko. I was about answer my phone when Chen barge in at pumasok sa loob ng kwarto.

"Younglady don't!" She exclaimed. She looked stressed and tensed. She immediately run to the window and closed it. Without glancing at me. I notice that she's not into his usual black suit uniform. I think she's in her combat/fighting attire. She also wore a bulletproof vest. Guns around her waist. Knives on her legs and she's in high combat shoes. Kinikilabutan na ako habang nakatitig kay Chen na halatang sinesecure ang kwarto namin ni Yoongi.