i'll always find you

CHAPTER 7

"Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?" Bucky asks, staring at the snowy mountains. The plan is to get on the freight train and capture Zola, apparently he's on this one. "Yeah, and I threw up?" Steve asks, "This isn't payback, is it?" Bucky questions.

"Now why would I do that?" Steve asks, with a grin, "We were right. Dr. Zola's on the train. Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle." Lizzie says approaching them, she was listening to the radio with some of the other guys.

"Wherever he's going, they must need him bad." Jones explains, "let's get going, because they're moving like the devil." Steve nods, "We only got about a 10-second window." Dum Dum laughs, "you miss that window, we're bugs on a windshield."

"Mind the gap." Steve says as Lizzie grabs the handle bar and starts towards the incoming train, Bucky following behind her. "Better get moving, bugs!" Dum Dum exclaims, after a few seconds the the rest of the crew lands the roof. "Holy shit, that was scary." Lizzie whispers.

Steve, Bucky, and Lizzie head towards one of the train cars, it's empty. "I thought they were supposed to be hauling something." Bucky states, "they were." Steve replies, while Lizzie starts walking towards another one of the train cars with Steve close behind her, suddenly the door slams shut separating Bucky from them. "Bucky!" Lizzie exclaims.

"Behind you!" Steve yells, Bucky turns around to see a huge Hydra robot shooting some sort of electricity towards him, he starts firing his gun at it and then hides behind some of the crates in the car. It looks like he's out of ammo. "Steve!" Lizzie yells, Steve rushes to the door breaking it with his shield.

Lizzie grabs the shield and throws it at the robot, knocking it down. "Are you okay?" She asks as Bucky stands up, "I had him on the ropes." He replies, he tries to smile but Lizzie can see the fear behind it, "I know you did." Steve replies.

"Get down!" He suddenly exclaims, the robot standing back up. Bucky suddenly grabs Steve's shield and starts shooting his gun towards the robot, it's happens to fast for anyone to react. Suddenly the robot shoots a hole in the wall, and the wind pulls Bucky towards it. "Bucky!" Lizzie screams, "Oh my god." Steve exclaims, Lizzie runs toward the hole, while Steve takes out the robot.

Bucky is clinging to a metal rod, his face terrified; Lizzie's suddenly remembers that one time at the fair when he said he was scared of heights. But she pushes her fear aside, she needs to be strong for him right now, "Hang on!" She yells, the wind making it hard to hear. "Grab my hand!" She yells reaching out towards him, his hand reaches towards her and their fingers touch almost sparing him from death, she breathes a sign of relief-then suddenly the rod snaps. "NO!" Lizzie screams, as she watches Bucky fall into the endless depths. His hands are stretched towards her, towards the life he wanted, towards his life in general. His scream breaks her heart in a million pieces. "NO! NO!" She continues to scream, she starts to lunge forward when suddenly she feels strong hands around her waist.

"NO! STOP!" She yells as Steve pulls her back into the train car, "STEVE! STOP, I'M FOLLOWING HIM! LET ME GO!" She screams. "STOP! FUCKING STOP IT!!" She yells as she tries to get him off her, "you can't you'll die." He says his voice breaking. "I DONT CARE! I just did." She sobs. He turns her so she's facing him. "Please, it's not what he would have wanted." He says, and Lizzie sees the tears streaming down his face. "He wouldn't want you to die, Liz. He just wanted you to be happy."

Lizzie feels her heart shatter at the word, he's dead. He's actually dead. "No..no..he's dead." She lets out a bloodcurdling scream, Steve's never heard so many pain in someone's scream before.

"He-he can't be." She sobs, "We..we have to go after him. Maybe he's still alive. Maybe...Steve we have to go after him. He's probably hurt and cold and scared." Steve's eyes are heartbroken, he just lost his best friend and his other best friend is heartbroken and so is he. "Lizzie...he couldn't have..that drop is at least 2,000 feet." The thought hits her and sobs again and again. "I can't live without him." She says walking towards the hole in the train car again. Steve grabs her waist again. "Liz, you can't..please." He begs, Lizzie suddenly remembers Bucky's dog tag around her neck.

"This is all I have." She gasps, "He's gone." She sobs. "He's gone...and his body is sitting out in the cold somewhere." Steve pulls her into a hug, "Hey-hey, don't think about that okay?" She sobs, "His beautiful face is going to..." Steve hugs her tighter, "Hey, please don't think about that."

"He was so scared." She whispers, "he hates heights, he..he probably was so scared at the end, and he was all alone." She feels Steve's tears on the top of her head, "I'm sure he didn't suffer." He whispers, "it was quick and painless." Lizzie lets out another sob.

"it should have been me." She whispers, "I can't live without him, I can't live knowing I almost saved him. I can't live knowing he's dead." Steve just holds her while she sobs and screams. "He's dead. He's dead, and we can't even bury his body."

"Elizabeth, you are my whole world. I need you to know how much you mean to me."

~

The train suddenly stops moving and Lizzie is still in Steve's arms, she eventually passed out from all the screaming, tears, and shock. "We found Zola." Dum Dum says running in with a smile, that quickly fades when he sees the two of the them on the floor and the tears in Steve's eyes. "Where's Bucky?" He asks, Steve just shakes his head. "Oh my god." He says, "I am so sorry. What happened?" Steve bites his lip to hold back years, "An accident, he um...he fell off. The robot shot at us making a hole and he um..." Dum Dum nods getting the message. "We'll be outside whenever your ready." He says before leaving. Steve nods and picks up Lizzie bridal style, a part of her died that day and Steve knows nothing will ever be the same.

~

A few weeks later...

"Hey." Steve says as Lizzie enters the London pub, it's been destroyed by bombs and yet Steve still sits there, with a drink in his hand. "Thanks for coming." He says. Lizzie nods and goes to sit next to him. "Why are you here?" She asks, "trying to get drunk. This place apparently had the best alcohol." He replies, "but with the serum, well- I can't get drunk. But I'm still trying." Lizzie nods, "I'm so sorry Steve."

"For what?" He asks, "he's dead because I couldn't save him." Lizzie says as her voice breaks. "Lizzie, it's not your fault, you did everything you could. I would have done the same, there's nothing else you could have done." He explains. "Did they-ever...um..find his body?" She asks quietly, Steve shakes his head, "maybe it's for the best, I wouldn't want to see him like that." Lizzie holds back a sob. "I'm going to destroy Hydra." Steve explains with anger in his voice, "are you with me?" She nods, "Yes, for Bucky."

Steve sighs finally breaking the silence, "I wasn't sure if I should tell you or not, but he would want you to know." Lizzie tilts her head, "know what?" Steve takes a deep breath, "Bucky was going to ask you to marry him." She lets out a sob, "I was helping him pick out rings and everything..and he planned out this whole proposal." She doesn't hold back the waterfall of tears that threaten to fall.

"I found this with his stuff, he would want you to have it." Steve hands her a letter and a ring, the ring was beautiful it was a twisted silver band with beautiful little diamonds decorating it, she smiles thinking of Bucky shopping for rings. She slips it on her finger and opens the letter.

Hey doll,
God I'm nervous about this, but would you like to go to dinner tonight? I have a surprise for you, I think you'll like it. Well I hope you do, gosh why do you make me so nervous? I think it's because I love you so much. And did I tell you how dashing you looked in that yellow dress last night? How did I get so lucky?

There were a bunch of notes under it, and words crossed out, "he was practicing what he was going to say to you, he practiced about hundred times in front of me." Steve says with a small chuckle. Lizzie wipes her tears, "thank you, Steve. I will always carry these with me, it's like he's with me." She touches his dog tag, that never leaves her neck. "I promise we will destroy Hydra in his memory."