i'll always find you

CHAPTER 12

"BUCKY! GRAB MY HAND!" Bucky reaches towards Lizzie, towards his love, towards his life until...snap...the rod breaks... "NO!" He falls with a scream escaping his lips. Lizzie stares down in horror as he falls farther away with his hands still reaching towards her. He fell. He fell. He's dead. He's...
~
Bucky lays there in the snow. Bleeding. Cold. Dying. Blood. There's blood everywhere. The snowflakes land on his face, his pale dead face...
~

"AH!" Lizzie exclaims waking up from the nightmare, she puts her face in her hands as she begins to cry. The nightmares still haunt her, she can't shake the image of him laying dead in the snow. Nor can she shake the memory of the day, and she never will. She can't. He's gone. He's dead. Bucky's dead. The love of her life is dead.

"Lizzie?" Steve asks knocking on her door, SHIELD provided her and Steve with an apartment to share. Lizzie wanted to leave New York it felt painful to be here, her childhood home without Bucky, and plus she kinda hated cities especially modern ones. But her and Steve didn't have enough money to move so here they were.

Lizzie hops out of her bed as she places her hand around Bucky's dog tag, she opens the door to see Steve standing there with a look of concern on his face. "Another nightmare?" He asks, "are you okay?" Lizzie sighs, "no." She almost whispers, "it's the same one over and over...him falling..off the train..and then..I keep imagining him...laying..there...laying in the cold..dead...he's dead..I'm never...never going to see him again." tears start to flow, "I was supposed to die in that plane...now I have to live without him..at least at the Red Room I didn't have my memories..it's just to much pain." Lizzie sobs.

Steve pulls her into a hug, "hey it's okay. And I know it was easier without your memories, you didn't feel pain, but that wasn't you, memories make us who we are. And think of all the good memories with him. He loved you, he loved you more than anything." Steve smiles softly, "we'll get through this okay? I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Steve." Lizzie looks at the wedding ring around her finger, "god I miss him." Steve gives her a sad smile, "I miss him too."

"I didn't mean to wake up you by the way, I'm sorry." Lizzie says softly, "no it's okay. I was up reading..it's been hard adjusting to this new world."

"We don't belong here." Steve shakes his head, "yes we do, we'll help SHIELD. We'll make a difference." He pulls her into one final hug, "goodnight Liz. I'm next door if you need anything, okay?" Lizzie smiles softly, "thank you." Steve closes the door and Lizzie crawls back into bed, she pulls Bucky's proposal note out from her bedside drawer, "I miss you Bucky. I'm not complete without you." She whispers as she reads the note for the hundredth time. "I love you." She whispers before trying to fall back asleep.

~
LIZZIE

"ITS SO LOUD!" Steve yells as we walk through through the streets of New York. "I know! And everyone seems to be on their little and not on the wall phones all the time!" I say seeing as people pass us with their noses looking down at their phones. Steve and I have one, but we haven't used them much, this new technology feels unfamiliar.

"Hey I wanted to show you something." Steve says, I follow him down the streets as we get further away from the city. "Oh my god!" I gasp when I see my family's home, THE BELFLOWERS the mailbox still reads. It looks just like I remember the big meadow, the mansion sized home, the apple tree...the apple tree where I met Steve and Bucky... but the home looks different it's abandoned..empty. It seems no one bought it..after..after... "oh my god, my family is dead." I sob, covering my mouth. "They are gone, everyone we knew is dead."

"Maybe your sister is still alive?" Steve suggests optimistic, I shake my head "no, no Peggy would have lived here if she was." I bite my lip trying to hold back a sob. "I'm so sorry, Lizzie. I didn't mean to make you upset." He says with a genuine sadness. "It's okay, I'm glad we came. This place is history now." I sigh.