The Story Of Us

8: IN YOUR ARMS

"Keep me sane in your arms tonight. Hold me close that I might not fall. But I know that we might be destined for life. A tragic flaw of mine is running away" ~Krissy and Ericka

~Jade~

The parade of confusion, uncertainty, delight, anxiety, fear then self-control on Lawrence's face made me regret my answer to him. Then Dustin's face crossed my mind. What am I thinking?Am I about to cheat on him? I tried to distance myself from Lawrence. Tried to fight the urge to kiss those bloodshot lips but failed. He tilted my chin with his finger so I would look into his green eyes again.

"Then you can have me, darling," was his reply.

He was staring at my eyes that I could feel my heart melting with every passing seconds. Oh no! Have to gain control over myself!

"I can't," I answered and stood so I could have some air but regretted the action as soon as I did for my legs were wobbly. Oh, the the things he can do!

"Why?" Lawrence's voice was hoarse.
"You see, I have a boyfriend," I said, turning my back to him.
"You can just tell me that you don't like me than make-up a story as your excuse."
"Thing is, whether you believe it or not, that's the truth," I'm starting to regain my composure. I might as well exit this office without looking at him if that was what it took to get away from him. I crossed my arms across my chest.
"Where is he then?"
"He's . . . away. . ."
"Away? For how long?"

I chewed my lips. Should I tell him the truth that Dustin has been away for five years already? Or not?

"From the looks of it, it has been a while. . ." His voice getting louder. "A long long while since you cannot answer me right away," I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
"It's none of your business. Get away from me!" I yelled as much courage that I could muster.
"You are, seriously, hurting my feelings right now, babe," he said as he snaked his hands around my waist.

I was feeling that comfort again. That feeling of warmth and home was so hard to resist. Little by little, my body seemed getting familiar with it. As if panic was a strange feeling. As if keeping it at bay was an irrational idea. Why would you walk away from home? Why leave such a warm place? Because this is not right. Because you have sworn to Dustin that you will wait for him no matter what happens...no matter how warm and comfy you get with anyone.
My logic was trying its best to win the situation but my heart wanted nothing but to relax in this homey feeling whenever Lawrence wrapped his arms around me.

"I'll wait for him," I heard myself mumble but was surprised by the loudness of my voice.
"He's not coming back, Jade," He whispered to my ear that chill ran down my spine.
"He is. He told me he will come back. He asked me to wait."
"Wait for eternity?"
"Five years is not eternity."
"See? Five long years, sweetheart. You have been wasting your life for five long years already. Don't you think it's time to wake up?"
"What do you know about love? You're nothing but a scumbag!" I managed to reply, trying to get control of myself.
"Honey, I've seen more than you have, that's for sure. I've been in trashy relationships so I know when someone already calls it off without even telling me directly. You should know that by now."
"All I know is that I am and I will wait for Dustin until he returns."

Lawrence suddenly spun me around so I would face him. I felt sick from the sudden twirl that I rested my head on his chest. His breath became shallow that caused the rapid rise and fall of his chest but he did not let me go.

"If that will be your answer to me, then I guess my life worths nothing anymore. You may leave now and no one will know you were here."
"What are you talking about?" I suddenly looked up to him.

He pulled away from me then gestured to the door. I did not move, though. He looked pale. His sweat beaded his temple as he tried to breath normally with his mouth closed. I looked at the door then to him. He nodded once then gestured to the door again. Is he firing me already? Or he just wants me to get out because I turned him down?

"I'm sorry," I blurted out then headed to the door.

The door was quite a distance from where we were so I had the time to mull over my decision. As I did so, I felt a strong gust of wind behind me. When I turned around, I saw the most alarming sight in front of me. Lawrence was standing by the opened window. His one hand holding a cellphone to his ear while the other was holding the frame of the glass window.

"I failed, Ace. Thanks for everything, dude. Bye!" he yelled said.
"Lawrence! You son of a bitch! What are you doing there?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"Did you just swear at me?" he smirk as he shove his phone to his pants pocket then held the frame above his head.
"Come down, stupid!" I replied before I remembered that I was talking to the president of the company I was working in.
"I told you. My life worths nothing now. It's best to dispose nonfunctional, nonprofitable or, in other words, a useless person like me."
"Will you please just shut up and come here?" I approached slowly.
"May I remind you that you are the reason why I am ending this shit I call life? So if you don't mind, please leave now!"
"I'm not leaving you! I'm not going anywhere so please, stop this drama and come back here this instant!"
"You call this drama?" he said then let go of his hold on the side of the window frame.
"No! No! No! Lawrence, please, don't do this to me," I was crying before I knew it. Why do I even bother? Why can't I just leave him alone and let him do what he wants with his life? Most of the time, he only humiliates and hurts me. So why am I stopping him from this stupidity?
The wind blew again and, with it, the answer to my questions. I am, actually, in love with him. I have lost Dustine already. I cannot lose another one anymore. I knew this feeling long before we met in that coffee shop. I just keep on denying it because of the promise I made with Dustine.

"Then, leave. Jade, I don't want you to see this and feel guilty so please leave me alone."

I gazed to Lawrence. His suit and tie blown by the wind reflected his high stature in life.

"No... No... I'm staying!"
"Why are you so cruel to me, Jade? You told me already that you can't love me back yet you still want me to live with it? Why do you have to be so cruel Why--?"
"beacuse I love you, Lawrence," I cut him off. "Despite your haughty self, your pride and all the evil that you embody, I think I love you!" I continued as my tears flooded my face.

I've been in this situation before. And the last time I've been here, I've pushed Dustin away. The last time I've been here, I let others to be happy first and with it, the regret and loneliness I suffered for five years. So I won't be making the same mistake of letting go of the person I love thinking he deserved better than me. Maybe I can think of my own happiness first before other's. And if loving Lawrence was being selfish, then I thought I wanted to be guilty for the this time.

"What did you say? Did I hear you correctly?" Lawrence interrupted my reverie.
"I love you, Lawrence," I muttered then fell to my knees.

Sobbing my heart out, I thought of Dustin again. He hadn't even sent a word for five years now. I even lost the necklace he had given and the key to his room. Weren't they enough to tell me to move on?
Then I felt arms tightened around me. The mint scent suddenly all around me once more.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry, sweetheart," Lawrence's voice came to spothe my throbbing heart.
"I don't know what to do anymore," I hiccuped.
"You just have to let me love you, darling. You don't have to stop waiting for him if that's what you want. Just let me love you. And if one day, he finds his way back and you still do not love me as much as I do, then I would return you to him."
"That's horrible..." my voice trembled for I liked the idea.
"That's how much I love you, darling."

~~~~~~~~~author's note~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi there! It has been a while since my last update. Sorry for the long wait. Hope to update as frequent as I can from now on.
Anyway, here's chapter 8! Hope you'll enjoy it as much as you did with the other chapters. Please let me know what you think. Don't forget to vote and comment~ loveyouall~