The Irish's Sanity

Chapter Twenty Five

Everything seemed to be happening in a blur - yesterday was a blur I tried recalling it but it felt like I was trying to fit uneven pieces together and I felt like I was just a piece in my own life- maybe it was because I cried until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. It can't be that men like this exist. It can't be that such an evil exists- I knew I could be a bit delirious and try and find the best in people because I somewhat believed in chances but this... this was something else. I felt my stomach turn in pure fear. I found no words to describe him... or the fear he erupted through the cells of my body.

I had woke up early this morning with cramps- they weren't as severe as what I knew was coming but they were still bad. Lachlan helped me shower and get ready-he didn't seem to mind at all it was as if he didn't traumatise me by killing someone in our fire place. I still couldn't take a bath other wise I would have panic attacks. The Viking man decided we would go to the Doctor first to see if I would be okay to travel. The pills I was given the last time were nothing.

I wasn't crying anymore even though I still trembled as if it was negative one hundred degrees at his touch this seemed to amuse him, I made sure that I didn't in anyway pull away -little things would set this man off.

Irene's friend on the other hand had been disturbingly helpful you would swear that she was innocent. She had been terribly nice to me this morning before I could even speak she was there making sure everything I needed I had, at first sight I had choked at her presence because the images the filled my head were clear and brutal- I didn't cry though I don't think I had anything left. I actually felt sorry for her, I could see the fear through her breathing and movements. I knew it was not easy losing a loved one.

I cried too much yesterday, having a nightmare that woke me up in the middle of the night to find myself in the arms of the man that caused those nightmares was a different type of reality check. I didn't fight when I woke up heavily breathing and scared out of my mind, I was a frozen crying mess. Instead he had soothed me back to sleep rubbing small circles at the back of my waist- I don't even remember when he had got the warm chocolate milk but a part of me was appreciative that he was so sick he knew exactly how to calm me down because he knew everything about me. I fell asleep in his arms that had been so possessively around me.

The only thing that made not cry about being alive was the idea of being out of this quiet place, I would grow mad, hearing Lachlan tell me that the doctor would determine if we would go made me hate my cramps even more but maybe this time they would actually kill me before he does. How long before I'm the one being dragged across the room without eyes. I shivered at the thought.

That's how I ended up on this bed seeing another Doctor. She was still examining me I felt better after she gave me some pills after I had rejected the injection-of course when I rejected the injection Lachlan was not in the room. It was only a matter of time before the period pains of hell started- I think this was the third time I thought they were coming but yet again they proved to be spontaneous as always.

My eyes were closed as the Doctor finished up, my mind was on the man outside even though he had stepped out a few minutes ago for a call he made sure to come and check on me from time to time. I couldn't even say that this was another bump in the road. I chuckle when I remember the fact that I had said I would 'help' him deep down I knew there was nothing to help but what else would I do. This was damnation.

I don't know how to explain it but his eyes haunted me, they told me everything and confirmed that this was nothing.

I felt numb, who would I go to -the police? His family? Who would help me. I no longer had the hope of my sister I wanted her so far from here, I had a feeling that if she tried to take me away from him he would kill her- just that thought alone made me have a new determination. Serenity can never know.