Assassin's Joy

The Dreaded Day

The day that Jay was dreading had arrived. Today was the day that he was going to have to bury the Master of Earth, his best friend, his boyfriend. 

He was not ready for this at all.

Jay was asked to give a speech at the memorial and he agreed. He had it prepared and memorized.

He, however, was not expecting the thousands of people who came for it. It warmed and broke his heart all at once. If only Cole could see how much he meant to the people of Ninjago.

He walked up to the podium, his speech printed and in his hands. Tapping the microphone, Jay got everyone's attention. The crowd fell silent and looked toward the Master of Lightning.

"Thank you for all coming. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting so many people," Jay's voice cracked. "But I'm glad to see that Cole was seen by you all."

"Where do I even begin? There's so much to Cole, I could never even begin to properly describe him in a single speech. Cole was many things, a friend, a hero, the villain to his own story, but most importantly, Cole was himself. He told me that when he was with us, he felt like he could be himself without being judged. That he could eat as much as he wanted without being yelled at or told he was fat. That he could play video games and kick our butts in training."

"Cole had a rough life. He was left in a park a few weeks after his mother died, abandoned by his father. The next two years, he lived on the streets. Eventually, he was found by some bad people. They mistreated him. They made him feel like he was worthless unless he did as they said." 

"Yet, Cole rarely ever let his past control his present. He lived his life to the fullest, he loved drawing, he loved cake, he loved video games. Cole had the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. It wasn't until recently that I realized that it was because of his past. He never wanted anyone to suffer like he did."

Jay took a shaky breath and shut his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.

"A bit before he died, Cole tried taking his own life. He wrote us a note, explaining that he couldn't do it anymore. That he was a bad person. Unworthy of our love and praise. In this note, he told me that he had deep feelings for me. It took me a while and a conversation with Nya to realize that I liked him too. After that, he and I started dating."

"I asked him after we started dating why he fought me for Nya's affection if he was in love with me. Cole explained that he did it because he was confused and put on the spot. He also explained that the people he grew up with are very homophobic and made him believe that it was unnatural that a man loved another man like he should a woman. Cole was given an opportunity to feel normal when he learned that Borg's system had deemed him the perfect match for Nya. A little into our fighting, he realized that he wanted to get my affection over hers."

"Every day since his death, I couldn't stop thinking about that. If he had told me then, we would've been dating for several months than just a week. I never really got to show him how much he means to me while we were dating. Sure, he was my best friend long before then, but it's a different feeling."

"I can't explain how many times I go to bed, I prey that that day had been a bad dream, or wake up and cry because he isn't by my side anymore, or hear the gunshot in my ears. I can't explain to you how much I miss that man, I can't put it into words, no matter how much I try."

He looked up at the ceiling, smiling sadly. "Cole, even if you think you're a bad person for doing all the bad things you did; you're not. None of it was your fault. And I just want to let you know that you are my hero, you always have been and you always will. Rest in peace, I'll see you again some day."