Not Him

"Are you sure that you're okay?" - 8/26

8/26/22
10:42am
Ranboo woke up earlier than he expected to, considering he hadn't gotten to sleep until the early hours of the morning. He was exhausted, but he went to check on Jaden almost immediately. He wasn't sure why, but something felt off.

Jaden was sobbing on the couch. Yeah, something was off.

"...Jaden?"

"Oh," Jaden paused, sniffling, "hey Ranboo."

"...Is everything... okay?"

"Yeah. I just–" Jaden paused again, wiping his eyes. "I wake up sobbing a lot. I usually don't remember the dreams– or nightmares, I guess?"

"Do you... sometimes remember, then?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember now?"

"Yeah. Just normal fear stuff, like being away from home and all that. I think I'm just particularly emotionally fragile most days."

"...Huh."

Jaden hopped up from the couch with more energy than Ranboo typically had after a full eight hours of rest and pleasant dreams.

Jaden wiped a few stray tears off of his chin. "Are you doing anything today? Do I need to get going?"

"Nah. Nothing apart from hanging out with you, I guess. Unless you have somewhere to be?"

"Not that I know of."

Ranboo was honestly astonished by Jaden's ability to act like he hadn't just been sobbing.

"Are you sure that you're okay?"

"No, I just don't want to worry you." Jaden let himself fall back onto the couch. "I spend enough of my time telling you about my problems. I wanted to... enjoy these two days, y'know?"

Ranboo sat next to Jaden and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. "I don't think it's very fun to feel like you can't be honest with your–" there was no reason for Ranboo to say anything else in this situation, "–friend. What's going on?"

"I guess it's a long story, or whatever. You can listen if you want, but I don't want to waste your time."

"I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it."

"Sleeping on a couch in an unfamiliar place reminded me of the nights when my mom and I were between houses and shit. It was stupid, I dunno." Jaden leaned into Ranboo's side, his head vaguely resting on Ranboo's shoulder with his body half in Ranboo's lap.

"That doesn't sound stupid. That sounds like having a traumatic response to being put into a situation similar to one that gave you trauma." Ranboo paused briefly. He felt Jaden gripping his shirt. "I wish that– I'm sorry you had to relive that feeling here. If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, this time or the next time we meet up, tell me, okay?"

Jaden relaxed. "I was comfortable. It wasn't like I fell asleep thinking about all that shit. It happened some time between when I fell asleep and when I woke up."

"I'm– I'm pretty sure your body has its own reactions to trauma that you may not really think about in your head. It's probably a matter of– like– the sensations you felt while you were asleep. Maybe it got really cold or really hot and your body was reminded of a specific night where you were that cold or that hot."

Jaden sighed. "You make almost too much sense sometimes."

"Sorry about that." Ranboo was suddenly extremely aware of Jaden leaning on him. "So– uh– what do you want to do now?"

"Anything but sit here and think. I don't like thinking."

Ranboo inhaled sharply as Jaden got up. The loss of touch was jarring and moderately upsetting. Man, he could've gotten used to that. Unfortunately, Jaden had other plans, so Ranboo stood as well.

"Do you wanna go out for breakfast? There's a few nice places that are actually within walking distance."

Jaden took a few seconds to contemplate the offer before responding. "Yeah, sure, why not."

The two went their separate ways to get ready for the day, briefly crossing paths as they went. Jaden's outfit was... sort of expected– Ranboo hadn't seen his regular style of dress as he showed up in his work clothes and changed into a hoodie to sleep in, but now, he was in what Ranboo could infer was what Jaden wore on a regular day.

It wasn't any different from what you'd get if you searched "grunge boy" on pinterest, but Jaden wore it well– baggy, ripped jeans, a band t-shirt that was vaguely– not fully, but vaguely– familiar to Ranboo. It was definitely... expected. It looked more right than a chain grocery store uniform with basic blue jeans, that was for certain.

"Lead the way, tall man."

And at that, the two were off to the nearest place that served coffee and breakfast at twelve in the afternoon.