My Perfect Summer

Chapter 15

RENEE

One of my favorite things about summer, besides school being out, is the summer shows and movies that you get to watch. For me, they are my favorite, and it would be a dream come true to live as they did. Frolicking, and doing whatever you pleased because you were free, and had no expectations.

So right now, Claudia, Maddy, Taylor, and I were all rewatching the Netflix series Outer Banks in Maddy's living room next door. To live like a pogue. That's the kind of free will I've been missing from my life.

Where you don't feel like you're carrying the whole world on your shoulders. Where it doesn't matter what you do or say because no one will judge you. You just get to be who you are. That's probably one of my greatest wishes. To have someone in your life that won't leave you or even think of it, because they genuinely care about you. They would never judge you for the kind of problems you had.

Because let's face it, I'm broken and it was likely that no one would give me that kind of love. They wouldn't get the kind of pain or healing that I was going through. My shattered soul would scare them away.

And my heart could not take that kind of fire at it right now.

To me, the loss of someone was what hurt the most. Whether it was literally or emotionally.

Healing is hard work, and sometimes it even hurts more than the event that caused you to heal. But what hurt most for me, was constantly trying to keep myself together. To not show any kind of emotion that made me feel vulnerable.

And yes I used to be that girl who loved too much, and I still am, somewhere inside of me. But I'd left those little pieces who I'd been behind, and I would never be that girl again. I was drowning, and I needed to find that light again.

And hopefully, I would find the light again. That's just if someone would fall in love with my darkness and show me the light again.

"Can I please watch with you guys," Maddy's little brother Carrington exclaimed, drawing me from my thoughts. He'd been asking to watch TV with us for a while now and had been doing so between going upstairs and playing video games and coming back down to ask Maddy to watch with us again. Let's just say Maddy had a lot of patience.

"Not right now Care-Bear," Maddy replied, for the 3rd time so far. And I'm not sure if I would say the show was not appropriate for a seven-year-old, but he just wouldn't get it. The whole drama and most importantly curse words, which a boy his age should not be saying. I doubt JJ would hold back on his words for us.

"And why is that," Carrington said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No particular reason," Maddy popped a mint in her mouth, "You just won't like it."

"Uh-huh," he says, "I bet I would love it, you're just trying to steal all the fun."

"Why don't we do something else," Taylor says with an uplifted posture, "I mean we've already watched 2 episodes and this time Carrington can hang out with us."

"Ugh," Claudia says, groaning and stuffing her face in a cream couch pillow beside her, "You're too nice for me right now."

"Is your social battery drained out," I asked Claudia, chuckling. I had a social battery too, and sometimes it was beyond drained, I just didn't express it as publicly as Claudia did. I preferred to stay private, and let people assume. It was my thing.

"Beyond drained," she said, peeking out from the couch pillow.

"Well I think that requires some sunshine," Taylor said brightly.

"Yes!," Maddy said gleaming, "It's nice to have someone as bright as me around here." And yes she was right, she and Taylor seemed as if they were both dropped here from the sun itself. "Like I said," she continued, "A daily dose of sunshine.."

"Is good for the mind and soul," Taylor finished, cheerfully.

"What she said," Maddy said with a genuine smile, "And you honestly just need a mood lifter, Clauds."

"And you need a mood-downer," Claudia replied when she confidently removed the pillow and gave Maddy a stern look, "the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows, Madds," she also replied genuinely giving good advice. And yes she was right, the world was not all sunshine and rainbows. Those days were over.

"I'll just have to prove you wrong," Maddy replied cheerfully.

Carrington had now found his seat, which was in Taylor's lap. She was one of those girls that attracted children, which was sweet.

"Well then," I spoke up, "do you guys know of anything happening around here."

"You know, I don't," Maddy said, thoughtfully.

"I do," Taylor chirped, and a second later her little minion, Carrington, says, "Taylor does."

"Who," Claudia asked skeptically.

"Sam," Taylor said, completely of innocence, "you guys know him right?"

"Yes we do, and not," Claudia said, dead serious, "we've spent too much time with those idiots."

"Well," Taylor said, "if we want to do something fun, Sam's our guy."

"Wait," Maddy said, who'd been quiet for a long time, "how do you know Sam?" she asked skeptically, almost as if she was jealous. I'm not sure what her mood was.

"Childhood friends," Taylor said, sounding completely innocent, "we grew up together."

And a simple "Oh," was Maddy's reply.

"Anyway," I then said, "just ask him and see what he says."

"Okay," Taylor replied. Then a second later heard Sam's deep happy-sounding voice, on what seemed to be a Facetime video, "Hey TayTay."

"Did you freaking call him?" Claudia said, completely annoyed.

"No," Taylor said, "he did."

"Hello to you Claudia," Sam said, not surprised by her remark. Like him, we were all used to their bickering, it was almost non-stop.

"Hey Samie," Carrington chirped from Taylor's lap.

"Hey little guy," Sam replied, brightly. As if he was his older brother.

"Let's all calm down," I said, being the peacemaker, "I mean we need somewhere to go and Sam's our guy."

"You know it," Sam said, "You guys need somewhere fun to go, eh?"

"Yes," I replied, carefully, "and appropriate, kid-friendly."

"Psch," he says, " I got you I'll send you the address, dress casually."

Maddy, who regained her voice, said: "Thanks, you're the best Samie."

"Okay, thanks!" Taylor then said.

And when she hung up, Claudia said, "There's no way we're trusting him."

"I mean hey guys," I said, "It'll be fun."

*

"Why exactly do we need to dress up?" I asked Maddy who was currently braiding Taylor's dusky, blonde hair.

"Because," she replied drastically, "we cannot go anywhere wearing sweatpants."

"Why not?" Claudia said, laughing.

"Do not even get me started Clauds," she replied.

"Besides, what if a certain guy from London is there," she said wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Now, you do not even get me started on that," Claudia said.

"Yeah, what she said," I replied while tying my white Chuck Taylor's up.

"Who, James?" Taylor asked, puffing her braid out.

"Yes," Maddy said cheerfully, "they are a complete match made in heaven."

"Ugh," Claudia groaned, "If Collins is there, you're going to have to bail me out of prison."

"Even you'll have Claudia," Maddy patting her shoulder, "don't worry."

Claudia just at her with an indifferent expression, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."