𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝

11.𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞

im sorry aeri, although you told me to live, you told me to live on your behalf, I can't live for us both anymore, I can't save us

For you I keep going, for you, I keep being alive, but I do not see the purpose, I don't

He'll never stop, they'll never stop, he'll never trust me cause im not you

While being taken into the ER they're trying to stop the bleeding with a towel, It is deep, I can feel my bones exposed

For a second I saw fear in his eyes, I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him, he looked much more terrified than before, and his guilt was projecting through his face

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my head felt dizzy, I opened my heavy eyelids, and the light immediately blinded my eyes, it was so bright,I went to grab the glass beside the bed

My hand was too weak, the glass fell and shattered, a broad figure came in rushing

jungkook: you-

he wanted to shout at me, and he did, but suppressed it, to my surprise he filled another glass with water and made me drink it until the last drop with his own hands

(seeing y/n in tears jungkook thinks that she's sad she came out alive, and that she wanted to die, this made him angry)

jungkook: if you wanted to end your life so bad, why couldn't you do it yesterday or tomorrow huh?!

y/n: I-(im living for someone else) im sorry

I can't tell him the promise I made, I'll just keep suffering like this

jungkook: Look what a problem you've become to the family

im sorry im not a human anymore, im a problem

jungkook: you know how disrespectful that was to my father

I can't believe he's saying this even though he knows its his father's mistake, is he trying to provoke me

y/n: im sorry I can't be her

words slip out of my mouth, I put my hands on my mouth realizing what I said

He looked like he was about to burst open

jungkook: look, I don't care how you feel, or why your trying to steal my wife's personality to fit in , but know that you'll never be her , NEVER

I could feel a sudden urge to talk back to him, words kept spindling around my head

y/n: what am I doing wrong, I know I'm not perfect, I know im not aeri enough for you...

jungkook: Hey sto-

y/n: oh how your life would be better without me, i knew that more than anyone, but I couldn't utter a word that day, I was petrified

jungkook: I TOLD YOU TO STOP-

(With a bitter smile, y/n says)

y/n: sometimes I really wish I could..... lend you my heart, and see if you can handle the things I deal with every day

(jungkook just stormed out of the room, he looked like he was about to break with a little more push, he couldn't handle the words coming out of y/ns mouth, he knew she was not at fault, he knew she did nothing wrong, he knew she was right,

but he wanted to believe the false truth he made up in his mind)

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after getting home, things seemed to have gone silent in the house

especially between the two who seemed like strangers to each other

Hyori: Miss, here's your water

y/n: mhm thanks hyori

The maid leaves the room, leaving y/n In her thoughts

im still trying to hold on, I don't understand why , there's no reason for me to put so much effort into something that doesn't seem to fix

if I was about to die who would care, no one would, then why am I going this far

If I did something to myself, I feel like I was betraying her hopes, What should I do aeri, I'm stuck

The sad part about me is I have no one when I need someone, I'm sorry I miss you aeri, your presence is much needed here than me

Every single day has been a battle with my own mind, which's trying so hard to not forget what we had, but I do not want to

I feel imprisoned, this whole world somehow feels very foreign to me

Although the world moves around me, im frozen in time, that time.....

it hurts, but I know how to hide it

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author: hello my dears, how's your day going I hope everything's fine and that you are pushing trough your difficulties, I wish everyone's life goes as they have planned for themselves, see you in the next chapter