Missing You

By Accident

That was the night when Calvin and his father met a fateful accident and when for the first time, Anver felt the need to see his father and his brother. Anver went to the hospital to see his father and his brother, but his father's wife just sent him away. He did not want to leave, but he could not also be with his father and his brother. He was already outside the hospital, just a few steps from the main entrance and facing the right hallway, when he felt he would break to tears anytime from then more because he worried so much for his father and his brother than because he was humiliated by his father's wife in front of other people. He walked with heavy feet to the third pillar of that hallway he was facing. It was the pillar reached by the least light because of the worn-out fluorescents. He gently lean his back on the pillar, and slowly let himself fall to a sit while he began to cry. He tried to silence his cry by covering his lips with his fist when he heard someone on the other side of the pillar he was leaning on. He heard that someone not because she was speaking or singing but because she was sobbing, for she was told by everyone she spoke with in the hospital that her boyfriend, Calvin, was dead.

Anver chose to ignore the weeping he could hear not because he did not care at all but because he, too, was in pain at that moment. For some time, the two of them were just there leaning on the same pillar, being torn inside by the same accident, and trying to be hidden by the same gloom and shadows getting more immense not only because of inadequate gleam but also because of how they were feeling. Tears were shed in much but have seemed not shed enough.

"So biglaan?" Jine finally broke her silence with her shaking voice. She wanted to scream, but she could not even catch her breath well. "Wala man lang advice, clue, or anything basta naihanda mo man lang sana ako. Ang unfair lang kase... Sobra... Grabe... Grabe naman, Calvin!" She was trying not to run out of breath in between her sobs. "Hindi kasi ako prepared. You knew that I would never be prepared kaya you died without notice! It feels so unreal. This seems to be a bad joke. I CANNOT just accept it like this!"

Despite the failing clarity of her voice, Anver heard everything she said. And for some reason that he could not figure out and explain even just to himself, he felt he was understanding what she was going through especially that he felt he could not be less concerned because he sensed that his brother, Calvin, and the Calvin that caused this girl hurt were the same. In spite of not knowing what to say or do, he stood from where he was seated and was about to try easing her pain. But before he could reach for her, she ran as fast as she could even not having in mind where to go. She was running towards the road passed by vehicles when Anver saw a van coming where she was about to cross. He ran to stop her from crossing, but she was hit before he could do that. He ran to her, saw her still conscious, and did what's necessary – immediately bringing her inside the hospital. He ran carrying her and looking at her from time to time checking if she's still conscious. While she was, she called for Calvin. It felt weird for Anver that she was calling for Calvin with her eyes fixed on his face.

Points for Analysis/Reflection

1.      Why is the title of the chapter essentially 'By Accident'?

2.      Do you believe in things happening by accident?