Missing You

Pretence

It's only love that can change a person. Those were the exact words of Anver. He knew so well how love would make one change for his/her beloved because at one point in his life, he tried to be a person who's not himself just to please his father's family, to at least be called his father's son, and more than anything else, to fulfil his mother's wish on her death bed – for him to still have what he could call his family when she's gone. So he let himself be covered by clothes and appearance that would be acceptable in the culture of the elite where his father's family belonged. But after so many times of humiliation he experienced from his father's wife, he felt he had enough. And so, he stripped off all the pretence that concealed who he really was.

But there he was for a new pretention, in front of Jine's house without having in mind how he's going to go about this situation he did not even know why he put himself in. But there were things he made clear to himself, and he repeated these to himself before he entered the gate of the house in front of him. I will not do the same mistake ever again. This pretence will not include being someone else. I will just be called differently – Calvin. Nothing else would have to alter.

 

Anver was about to take his first step towards the gate when Jarie came with a tall handsome guy with dark brown hair and eyes, wearing all white.

"Good to see you, Calvin," Jarie knew that everyone must start helping Anver get used to being called Calvin at least when Jine's around. "By the way, this is Synel – a close friend. It's been the three of us since we were kids."

"Yeah, cut it out. I don't need to know him more. We're not going to be as close as you are." For some reason, Anver felt he's not going to like this guy just introduced to him.

"I'm pleased to meet you. I'll be Jine's personal nurse from today. I know you'll help me get her recover faster." He offered Anver a handshake, but Anver just kept his eyes on his angelic face.

What's with the word 'personal' that gets me uncomfortable? Anver asked on his thoughts which he immediately dismissed then went inside the house.

"So what brought you here?" Anver asked the question to Jarie, but he really wanted that for Synel.

"Huh?" Jarie's expression conveyed that Anver's question was needless to ask because the answer's obvious, but she replied, "I'm here for my best friend. Of course I would –" Jarie was not able to finish the long explanation she had in mind. She would really want to speak not because she would like to answer Anver's question, but because she would like Synel to know that she had a lot to say.

"Enough. I don't need your answer. I just want you to feel I don't want to see you."

"You're rude!"

"You're ugly."

"What?!" She already got really annoyed especially that Synel could hear somebody calling her ugly.

"Oh, tama na. Enough with both of you. We're here." Synel was ever the peacekeeper even when they were still kids. He's a gentleman, superman, batman, spiderman, bioman, master showman, yeah everyman there could be in Jarie's dreams.

Synel opened the door of Jine's room, and the three of them entered. Anver was trying not to make eye contact with Jine who was sitting on her bed with her feet covered by the comforter. She looked weak, but her face lightened up when she saw Anver.

"Calvin." She called Anver with her very soft voice.

Anver did not know what to do or say. Anong gagawin ko? Ah..naku.. Bahala na. He thought in a split second then dragged Synel in front of him facing Jine and said without thinking much, "he will attend to you first. Yes, he has to."

"Yes, I have to check your cast." These words of Synel made Anver feel relieved, but he knew not for long.

Synel went near to Jine while Jarie and Anver sat on the couch, observing Synel and Jine.

"How do you feel?" Synel's voice was really comforting.

"I feel better." Jine was not even looking at Synel. Her eyes were fixed on Anver who looked away when she caught his glance, but Anver could not help but look at her again. He was also observing very closely what Synel was doing.

"Do you feel uneasy with this cast on your arm?" Synel asked further while he placed his right hand on her shoulder while his left hand gently held her arm with cast.

Anver went observing the two even more closely. This pervert! He's holding too much. He thought.

"That's holding too much!" Jarie's words came out of her mouth without her permission. Anver skipped a heartbeat because he thought the words came from him, but then he's thankful Jarie mentioned them. "I mean, you might hurt her arm if you hold too much like you know, baka mabigat ang kamay mo..something." She explained shrugging her shoulders when she saw Synel and Jine looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Yes, you're right. Thanks for reminding me." Synel smiled at her with that adorable face she really could not help but admire so much.

"Ikaw naman, maliit na bagay." She felt she was blushing and noticed just then that she stood from where she was seated, so she sat again. Synel continued checking on Jine's arm.

"The cast doesn't bother me at all except for that the sling needs to be adjusted." Jine finally said.

Synel's hands went around Jine to reach for where the sling could be adjusted. The act made Anver's eyes widen, and he all of a sudden uttered, "That's almost hugging her!" Anver himself was also shocked by what he said involuntarily that made the three looked at him in surprise. That's just part of the pretence – pretending I'm jealous. He convinced himself with that thought. The room was silent for a moment until the maid knocked and entered with Jine's food.

"It would be hard for Jine to feed herself. Would you like to do it for her?" Synel asked Anver with his usual smile.

Anver took her food, sat beside her bed, and helped her eat spoon by spoon. Sometimes, their eyes would meet. She was looking at him like how she would really look at Calvin. Anver was looking at her like how Calvin would look at her except for that there's something holding him back for those glances.

__________________________________________________________________

Hi, dear readers! I just would like to hear from you, so I'm adding a few questions after each chapter which I would really be glad if you'll answer :)

Points for Analysis/Reflection

 

1.      In what way is pretence bitter, sweet, or both in the chapter?

2.      Will the act of pretending be ever justifiable? Why or why not?