Did I fall in love?|Tom Holland (ENGLISH VERSION)

Chapter Twenty-Two

If there's one thing I hate most in life, it's being forced to do something I don't want to do. That feeling of there seeming to be no way out and that it's all over. Right now I feel like a failure, I feel like I failed, that I should fight for a position and just say no. 

But I think we've reached a stage in life where it seems impossible and when we're faced with situations like this one today, we limit ourselves to not opening our mouths. Not a word, not a sound comes out, as if something is corrupting her from within, as if we are threatened.

I just know that with this failure I'll have to help Jack improve his grades.But my revolt revolves around the fact that he is having fun with all this. I assume he already told Olivia.

I just wanted to know why so much insistence, there are many students who have excellent grades, why did you choose me?

It's hard to concentrate in class with these thoughts running through my mind.I just need to get out of here and it's IMPOSSIBLE. I suddenly remember that I have to stay at school this afternoon to train. I've never felt so frustrated in my life.

I look out the window, and see the trees swaying due to the cool breeze, which calms today's heat, not typical of London weather.

The doorbell rings, I pack my things in my bag and head to the cafeteria to get my lunch. As I have training, today I won't have lunch with Grace or the boys. By this time, they must be on their way home.

As I stand in line with the tray waiting for it to move on so I can put the food on the plate, someone taps me lightly on the shoulder.

I look back and see Sophie.

—Hi Julie, we've saved a place at the table for you, you can come and have lunch with us, so we'll all go together to training later.

—Fine, I just have to get the food and I'll seat with you.

She smiles, nods, and heads over to the table by the cafeteria window.

The line is gaining movement, people are walking to the front and I'm putting the food and dessert on my tray.

Coming to the end, I pick up the board and walk to the table where the girls are. They chat happily, perhaps gossiping about the day's news.

As I approach, they sense my presence and stay silent.

—You can go on talking, you don't have to be silent when I'm present.They get a little awkward and try to find a new topic to talk about.

Sophie starts:

— Well, for today I planned a new workout — she says while looking for something in her bag, and then removes the papers. She drags her board, to have space to spread the papers on the table — I thought we could innovate our choreography and I've been researching some steps, we could do this for example — she says while pointing to the drawings on the paper.

—I think so, I like it. — says Stefanie without taking her eyes off the paper.

The girls end up agreeing, in fact I don't know if they would object to Sophie, since she is the leader, even if she is open minded and always says that she is willing to listen to our characters and that if we don't feel comfortable we can always make some changes, because the most important thing is the well-being of all of us and that we are in tune.

Sophie looks to her right, right at me.

—And you Julie? She hasn't given her opinion yet.

I stop eating, put my fork and knife down on the edge of my plate and look at Sophie and then the girls who focus one of their gazes on me. Then I focus my attention on the papers, pick up one of them and analyze the image sequences.