Ordained

Chapter Eight

At first Emmeline had been relieved when Mellissa had announced the tests were over. It was a relief to just be still after days of intensive testing. So when she awoke to the light knocking of Mellissa she was confused.

There was no stack of papers, no puzzle pieces, no plan for the day. Just a paper and pen sat on the small round table. Across the top were the words 'Desirable attributes', the rest of the page blank and expectant.

Emmeline read the title of her page twice. Was it really as simple as writing down what she would like in a partner? It seemed a little too easy. "What if there isn't someone who fits my list of desirable attributes?" She asked Mellissa.

Mellissa gave her a curious look, jotting down a note before answering. Doubt clenched in her stomach; maybe she shouldn't have asked her that.

"Well, the list is more of a guide than a deciding factor. The pairing will try to match you with what you think you want, but not everyone will fit exactly with their partner's list."

Emmeline arched an eyebrow. "I thought the pairing matched you with your perfect match. If my partner is my perfect match, surely, he should fit my list exactly."

Mellissa paused, the suggestion of a grin across her features as she wrote something else. Emmeline couldn't be sure, but it seemed like her examiner was slightly pleased to have been questioned.

"Emmeline. You are assuming that you know exactly what you want. How sure can any of us be that we really know what we want in a partner?"

This gave her cause to pause. Sure, Emmeline could write out a list of things she might like, but were those preferences just that, preferences, or were they an essential attribute for her other half to have? She wasn't sure.

Her pen hovered over the paper for a few seconds more before she pressed it down. She had no real preference on looks, dark or fair, tanned or pale, she wasn't particularly concerned. So, she neglected to mention anything that would pertain to looks.

Her list went as follows:

Healthy

Intelligent

A lover of books

Protective

Her hand hesitated over her last entry. Deep down, what she desired most of all was someone who wouldn't treat her like her father and brothers had done her entire life. She wanted to be shielded from unkind words and protected from disdain. Most of all, she wanted someone who wanted to care for her; who could return the love she was so desperate to give.

"You never mentioned this when you explained the process to me." Emmeline noted, finishing her list with her best handwriting.

Mellissa chuckled. "No. I find it best not to. If I had mentioned this part of the journey, you would've spent the last few days over thinking about what you wanted. No, it is better to go with your gut and write what you feel. Overthinking will just skew what your heart really desires."

There was a certain wisdom in it, she had to admit.

"What happens now?" She asked suddenly as Mellissa went to leave.

Her examiner, such a maternal kind of woman, rested a hand gently atop her shoulder. "Now, you wait, I'm afraid."

Emmeline frowned. "So that's it?"

"That's it." She nodded, her silver hair catching the light.

She supposed she would have been pleased, but somehow she couldn't recreate that same emotion of relief she had felt last night knowing her tests were done with.

Instead of enjoying the sudden free time, Emmeline found herself stretching out on her cot studying the blank ceiling. It had been painted a curiously pale cream colour, not quite yellow, not quite white. It was a pointless thing to focus on, but the alternative was to overthink. Overthink about her test answers, her social test, her capture the flag performance. Worst of all would have been her worrying if she had gotten her list of traits correct.

No, the ceiling was a far preferable option to the maelstrom of thoughts that were threatening within her brain.

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Author's Note:

Our baby just wants to be loved. 

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Thanks,

Sophie.