Ordained

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Three

"You aren't eating." Cassius murmured, breaking the silence that had fallen heavily over their dinner table. Emmeline had returned as bidden, but had not graced them with her presence until dinner. Carmen had not joined them thankfully and Emmeline wasn't sure if she was still residing in the house or not.

"Where is your mother?" She demanded, putting her cutlery down. She couldn't be bothered pretending to eat anymore, she didn't have an appetite and she had only been feigning interest in her food to be polite and so that Cassius didn't worry. Reflecting on his behaviour at the execution she suddenly decided that he didn't deserve not to worry.

Cassius sighed heavily, also setting down his knife and fork. "Emmie please."

She shook her head, staring him down across the table. Letting the mask she had been wearing fall away she let him see all in rage she had been holding inside.

It was with little regret that she watched his expression change in response. He looked defeated and very, very tired. "Please what, Cassius?" She enunciated every syllable like it was distasteful to her.

Pushing his hair from his face he looked up at her. "What do you want me to do? We've gone over this already."

Emmeline snorted, grabbing her goblet of wine and draining it. In a move very much like her father she held the glass aloft, waiting for a servant to refill it.

"Like it or not my mother is a member of the royal family, and a member of the royal family cannot be put on trial. I thought you understood that."

"I thought I understood how you felt about me, but I was clearly wrong if you can sit by and let my would-be killer go free."

"She didn't go free, she was executed." He glowered; his knuckles white around his own goblet. It wouldn't have surprised her if it shattered under the strain of his grip. She wouldn't help him pick the glass from his skin if it did.

"Don't play coy with me. We know Ms Frances wouldn't have lifted a finger on her own. She might have had her hands around my throat, but she wasn't the one giving the orders." As if to drive her point home she yanked on the high neck of her dress to show the blue bruising that still stood out in sharp relief against her pale skin. Cassius winced, as she knew he would. Clementine had suggested she wear high-necked gowns till the marks faded, the duke having made it known that he didn't want to see them.

Cassius slammed his hand down on the table, his patience razor thin. "I have to protect my family name. I have to protect the reputation of my house." He spat back, his voice raising dangerously.

Emmeline's fury matched her ordained pairs, the air between them thick with discontent. "And what about protecting me? Am I not your family, am I not a member of your house?"

"No! No you aren't yet."

Emmeline's fire went out as if dosed by cold water. She blinked in shock. He had told her he loved her, had held her and said she would be the next duchess, and had sworn that her place was at his side. Yet, when the chips were down, he didn't consider her family. She was an Elva, not a Marcellus, and he clearly regarded her as such.

Pushing her chair away from the table she leapt to her feet, placing both hands on the table to steady herself for half a second.

"Wait Emmeline, I didn't mean that." He began, also rising. "I'm sorry I didn't-"

With more strength than she thought she had she lifted her head to meet his gaze. He looked panicked, stricken even. He was moving down the room towards her, but she lifted a hand to hold him back and he stopped, several paces away. "You've made yourself clear." She stated, ignoring his protests as she turned and headed for her rooms.

He was following her, but she didn't want to hear his excuses. She didn't even want to look at him. Breaking into a run she heard him curse behind her as he gave chase but she reached her rooms before him and slammed the door in his face.

He didn't try and force his way in, but she dragged a sofa across the door in case, barring anyone from entering. Not even Clem was welcome in her chambers tonight, feeling like she wanted to just truly be alone, utterly alone. Cassius knocked at her door for ages, she could hear him apologising and making promises through the door but she ignored him. Running her own bath she stripped off her dress with difficulty, ripping some of the ties without a maid's help. Stepping into the tub she hissed at how hot it was, but she forced herself into the water.

After a few minutes she let herself slip under the water altogether, closing her eyes underwater and taking solace in the sudden and complete silence.

Her emotions had her feeling out of control and an intrusive thought pushed its way into her mind uninvited. She could just stay under the water. Stay until her air ran out, hell, stay even after that. It would be peaceful; it would be quiet. There would be no arguing, no crying, no hurtful words. She could just stay in this tub, beneath the water and lapse into a lasting rest.

Her mind considered the prospect of uninterrupted rest with a tempting glint, but before she could truly commit to the idea her body jerked her out of the water, forcing her to take in a deep gasp of air.

It had been a foolish thought.
Her mind still longed for rest, to be left alone. So without really bothering to dry herself off she pulled on a slip and buried herself underneath the blankets, pulling closed the hangings of her four-poster and shutting herself safely inside. 

............

Author's Note:

It's all going wrong.

S x