Ordained

Chapter Sixty-Nine

That night she cleared off her writing desk of any non-essential items, unwilling to let anything distract her from her reply. It was like a flicker of life had been breathed into her, the idea of sending and receiving letters from Cassius like a flame

Dear Cassius,

I am glad to hear back from you. I was so sure you would either ignore my letter or tell me not to bother.

She hesitated, wondering if that was too honest, but she decided to say screw it and just carried on writing.

Your mother seemed displeased by your letter telling her I am to remain, but I am grateful. Given how Finneas is no doubt behaving at home, I am glad that I do not have to return home to my father's lands.

I have been doing an awful lot of reading of late. I came across a most wonderful book that...

Emmeline filled her letter with the books she was enjoying and why. She asked after her brothers, after the progress at the front, if he was eating enough. With only Clementine to talk to, she found that she had boundless questions to ask Cassius in her letter, her desperation to speak to someone spilling over onto the page. When she finished her second page she stopped suddenly, feeling self-conscious about writing so much. Her first letter had been fairly short, perhaps he would prefer their correspondence be brief. She had asked Clementine about it later in the day.

The maid chuckled. "There is little in the way of entertainment out on the front, My Lady. I hardly think the young Master will complain about you having said too much. If anything I imagine he would complain if you wrote too little." The girl teased, nudging her affectionately. "If you only wrote a few lines, he might think your affections for him had cooled."

Emmeline went to correct her lady's maid but stopped herself. Maybe she was right, he might think she was disinterested in speaking to him if she was brief. Warmed by Clementine's words she sealed her letter and sent it off.

...

With each passing day, the number of letters that arrived for Emmeline grew. She would always rummage hurriedly through the pile of envelopes, looking for Cassius' red seal first. Disappointment was a daily occurrence, Cassius' letters taking days longer than any of her other correspondence. Emily and Lavender wrote to her daily, she replying with equal dedication. Lavender was desperately worried for Issac, and Emily too was concerned about Samson. They asked regularly how she was being treated by Carmen, but Emmeline said nothing about the reduced rations she was facing. It wouldn't do any good to worry her friends any more than they already were.

Through their letters Emmeline found herself growing closer to her sisters-in-law Arabella and Madeline in a way she hadn't ever been before. Olive wrote only occasionally, and her brother Maximillian's wife Lilly, never bothered to reply at all.

Days were passing by both too quickly and agonisingly slowly. Time seemed to move in fits and starts, like she came alive when letters came and connected her to the outside world. She'd rush to pen her replies and then go back to numb dragging hours whilst she waited for the replies to return. On the days when word came from Cassius, it felt like her chest could finally breathe again. She had taken to using the salon above the library, enjoying not only the views but the distance it gave her away from Carmen. With the weather turning, she could enjoy less time outside and therefore this salon was the perfect sanctuary. Perhaps that was why he had shown her the room before leaving? She liked to think so.

Weeks rapidly turned into a month which rolled into several. Before Emmeline knew it, it was Winter and Cassius still hadnt returned. Her initial reassurance to herself that he would be back shortly, was long proved incorrect.

Cassius and Emmeline shared letters constantly throughout the months while he was away. Life was, if she was being honest, incredibly lonely at the Marcellus mansion. Without Clementine, she doubted if she would speak to anyone at all. Almost all of the staff had clearly been instructed to avoid her as much as possible, and there was no one else to speak to besides Carmen who was not interested in fostering any kind of mother-daughter-in-law relationship.

Cassius's letter became a lifeline for her, opening them the second she was handed them and rushing to write her reply as soon as possible. As it turned out, Cassius thoroughly enjoyed longer letters, he often asked her to include her favourite passages of what she had been reading. She took great pleasure in searching for a passage that he might find interesting, taking the time to carefully copy it out word for word for him. She would add her thoughts underneath, knowing that Cassius would reply with his own impressions. It was something she had never expected of him, and she treasured every observation he made.

Aside from pretty words and literature, there was an undercurrent of desperation in his letters that Emmeline could not mistake. Things were not as good at the front as he would have her believe.

Madeleine had heard from Justus that they had lost ground, having to retreat suddenly. It made her worry, knowing that Cassius and Justus were on the very front lines, where it was most dangerous. She had asked him in a letter if things were going badly but he only sent her back reassurances that he would do as ordered and stay safe. She had grinned at the reference to her first letter, but the worry still festered in her stomach.

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Author's Note:

I feel like I covered a lot of time in that chapter, like months haha. Time flies when you're having fun and all that. 

Sophie